THIRTEEN
KELLY
The night after dinner and the fun Zac and I had had when we got home, and I'm late down for breakfast. I'm about to take the last step when I overhear Zac and Audrey chatting in the kitchen.
"Mom gave me the third degree after you and Kelly left. She wanted to know what was up with you two."
I don't dare exhale, let alone move while waiting for Zac to answer. I thought we'd gotten off easy last night. This was especially so after seeing how Zac's mom grilled Clive and Audrey on their destination wedding.
To me, it had sounded blissful. No need to buy a big fluffy dress, no guests, and even no family. Just the man you love next to you. Much as I love my mom and dad to pieces, with my mom involved, it would be sure to be a logistical nightmare.
In the kitchen, Zac groans. "And what did you say?"
Audrey laughs, although it lacks all humor. "Told her I didn't have a clue and to ask you."
She falls silent for a second, no doubt taking the time to examine her younger brother. It was something I'd seen her do often since her arrival.
"Oh priceless. You don't know what's up between you, either. Do you? Not even when it's staring you in the face."
She follows this up with more hollow laughter, leaving me feeling the same. I'm torn. Do I want to hear his answer, or not? Certain I already know what it'll be, I'm thinking about sneaking back to bed when I hear movement upstairs.
Rather than let Clive catch me lurking in the hallway, I step down, tiptoe into my office and ease the door shut. Better than being caught ready to burst into tears.
Unsure of what to do, I sit at my desk and start my computer. With it being Saturday, there's no need. However, I take comfort in the routine. A place where I'm in control, where I feel at ease.
I've done nothing but sit and stare at the screen-saver when I hear the door open behind me. "Are you okay?"
Unable to answer him, I instead nod, before reaching out and clicking my mouse. Upset as I am, I don't take the time to think through my attempt to pretend I'm working. While I'll often work in my pajamas, it's never on a weekend.
A moment later, his hands come to rest on my shoulders. "I take it you heard my sister and me?"
Again, I nod, unable to trust my voice.
"I can't lie to her."
I stiffen under his hands. What does he mean by that?
"And I'm not sure what I'd say, anyway. This is all new to me."
Is he kidding? He's the serial dater, not me. Without moving a muscle, I beat myself up, calling myself out for being an idiot. For my being sucked in by a pretty face and a hot body.
"That's okay. I wouldn't want you to lie." Despite fighting to keep my tone light, it's tricky when you're being strangled by your emotions, and I'm not sure he's believed me. After what feels like a lifetime, he takes his hands away from my shoulders, then leaning over, he kisses me on the side of the neck.
While I've been able to keep my response casual, there's nothing I can do to stop myself from freezing when his lips touch my neck. It would be one thing if I didn't have feelings for him, but that isn't true.
Now all I can do is hope to protect myself from further heartbreak. I went into the relationship knowing this would be the likely outcome, so I can't blame Zac when it happens.
He's not the one at fault. I am. He never promised me more than a good time, and he's shown me that. After composing my face into something that resembles a smile and not a grimace, I stand and face him.
"Why don't you spend the day catching up with your sister and Clive? Once I take a shower, I'm going to work on a direct mail piece to send to local businesses."
Without waiting for his response, I stretch up and peck him on the cheek before fleeing, with any further words stuck in my throat. Let him make of it what he will. If I can get through this with my self-esteem intact, then I'm going for it.
I've not been back at my desk for five minutes when the door to my office opens yet again. "Have fun with your sister." Again, I keep my eyes locked on my screen, pretending to be hard at work.
Truth be told, I'm having trouble focusing. My vision blurred with unshed tears.
"Zac told me you overheard us talking."
