She slanted him a look. “Didn’t finish my degree, remember? I moved here. Besides, by the time I reached college, Abby was older and didn’t need as much of my time. Then she went to college—”
Her brow knitted as her sentence fell away.
“And ended up with a stalker,” he said, finishing for her.
“Yeah.” She shrugged away from his grip and marched to his Wrangler.
When he caught up to her, before unlocking the passenger door, he cupped her cheek. “I know you wish that the news ofHamilton’s death had been the medicine Abby needed to move on, but you’ve done your best for her since—”
Her anger flashed hot and quick, startling Cal with its vehemence. “No! I failed her!” She jerked away from his touch, and her voice trembled as she ranted, “She depended on me! I was supposed to keep her safe, and I didn’t. She went to college and was preyed upon by a vile man. And even once we knew who he was and what he was doing, I still couldn’t protect her. And it broke her!”
Cal shook his head, drilling her with a stern gaze. “No, Jules. Do not take this on yourself.”
“But I failed to protect her, and she wound up in there.” She jabbed a finger toward the hospital entrance. “And even then she wasn’t completely safe. Chase still found her here. Maybe if I’d been with her when she went to college—”
He scoffed. “Really? Do you really think you could have predicted that she’d be targeted by a stalker? And would she, at eighteen, have thanked you for helicopter parenting her and not allowing her to spread her wings and find her independence?”
“But I—”
He took her shoulders in his hands and gave her a gentle shake. “Stop! You have punished yourself long enough. You can’t swaddle the people you love in bubble wrap and think the world will never hurt them. Pain and the occasional trouble are going to find all of us eventually. What matters is having the support of the people you love to help you through it, not save you from it.”
Jules drew a shuddering breath, her eyes filling with tears. Was he reaching her?
“Chase Hamilton’s actions are not your fault. The failure of the legal system to stop Hamilton is not your fault. Your sister’s breakdown is not. Your. Fault.” More tears shimmered in her eyes when she looked up at him, her breathing fast and shallow. “Not. Your. Fault.”
When her chin quivered, he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close. With a hand at her nape, he nudged her head to his shoulder. Moisture from her tears soaked his shirt, and her body shook as she released what he could well imagine was years of pent-up emotion.
His heart ached knowing she’d buried her own sense of abandonment and hurt toward her parents for so long. She’d shoved down her fear for her sister and locked up her heart in order to move through the challenges life had dealt her. For too long, she’d believed she had to be strong, hold herself in check for both her sister and herself.
Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he whispered, “You’re not alone in this anymore, Jules. I am here for you. I swear it.”
Jules didn’t say much in the Jeep as Cal drove back to his house. After her embarrassing meltdown in his arms, she didn’t know how to proceed. He’d said all the nice things and made all the pretty promises one would expect. But…
But what? Why was it so hard to believe him, to allow him past her defenses? She didn’t like the idea of being vulnerable to him. Exposed. Her soul naked and fragile.
Although…hadn’t she already let him crack open those doors when she made love to him? Maybe she should regret having slept with him. But she couldn’t. Losing herself in his kiss, his touch, his tender ministrations as they’d come together had made her happier than she could ever remember. More than sex, being with Cal had made her feel seen, appreciated, cherished.
Other than Abby, who’d loved her the way a little sister would, she hadn’t felt cared for or wanted since…well, if she had to think that hard to remember, it had been too long.
But every time she thought of letting down her guard completely, something cold and poisonous filled her, whispered to her of all the pain of her past.
No, she was much better off trusting what was fact based and logical. Not people. Science. And the logical thing to do, the best way to move on with her life was to finish her PhD research, publish her work and find a position in a lab somewhere that she could make a difference in the world of chemistry… .which meant the only logical thing to do was return to Winnipeg, where her professors would welcome her back. Thus…leave Red Grove. Leave the tedious gift shop.
Leave Cal.
Once her thought process had gone full circle with the same result a second time, she shut down the circling maelstrom and tamped down the raw emotion that had cracked embarrassingly open in the hospital parking lot. She just prayed Abby hadn’t seen from her window the way she’d disintegrated into tears. Abby didn’t need that to grapple with.
Protect Abby, her brain said.
Your parents weren’t there for you either, were they?Cal’s voice answered in her head.
And in her heart, a more insidious voice hissed,Protect yourself.
Chapter 33
When they arrived at Cal’s house, an unfamiliar car was in the driveway, and Jules tensed. “Who’s that?”
“Huh,” Cal said, furrowing his brow in surprise. “My mother. What’s she doing here?” Cal exited his Jeep quickly, and Jules hustled to follow him inside.
