"He's hurt," she said.
"He is not hurt, Little Warrior. Wherever he has gone, he used his own wings to get there."
Onyx brought us to the shoulder of bare rock we'd rested on before. Kailin said that it looked like the top had been sliced off by a giant hand. The resulting platform was big enough for two or three dragons to rest on.
He set us down so softly I barely felt the rock take our weight.
"Are you okay to go down by yourself?" I asked.
She shook her head.
Onyx crouched as low as he could, flattening his belly on the rock so we wouldn't have a long way down.
I got Kailin off his back and onto the ground, and as soon as her legs touched the rock, they went out from under her, and I went down with her, the two of us folding onto the cold stone.
For a while, neither of us said anything, and I just held her while her tremors subsided. Onyx settled himself between us and the drop, a wall of warm dark scales, and watched the sky where Morgateth had vanished.
The wind moved over the rock.
"It happened like this in my dream," Kailin said.
Ice slithered through my veins. "You dreamt of dying?"
Kailin's dreams were not the normal kind that could be ignored. They were prophetic, and if she'd dreamt about falling, it might come to pass, but I was only aware of her dreaming about Alar's death.
I tightened my arm around her, and she let me because she needed my warmth, and maybe my strength.
She shook her head, and the dread drained out of me. "In my dreams, Alar died exactly like that. A sharp turn between two peaks, no room to maneuver, the saddle sliding, and him falling to his death. That's why I encouraged him to go back home. He didn't listen, but Elu must have heard my prayers and made Alar's parents demand his return." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Visions and dreams are often cryptic. They are meant to point us in a certain direction, and we need to solve the puzzle on our own. What if I substituted Alar for myself? He's more dear to me than my own life would ever be, so it's possible that the warning came with his face on it to make me take notice."
Twist the knife, why don't you?
He was more dear to her than her own life. I knew she loved him, but some selfish part of me, the part I didn't want to look too closely at because I was ashamed, wished it was just youthful infatuation and that it would end one day. When she was older. No longer a cadet. And I could swoop in and claim the woman who had always been meant to be mine.
38
KAILIN
I never noticed how loud Morgateth's voice was in my head until he went quiet. The silence is intolerable, and I do not know how to live with only my own thoughts for company. The bond is still there. I can feel it. But it gives me no solace, because it's hollow.
—From the journal of Kailin Strom
Ihad bared my soul to Ravel, but letting it all out had not made me feel any better.
Onyx kept his bulk between us and the long drop and the worst of the wind, and Ravel kept his arms around me, cradling me like a child and rocking me gently. I kept my face against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, and didn't move because I couldn't let go. I needed him to provide the scaffolding that prevented me from falling apart.
I should let go of him.
The thought simmered weakly in the back of my mind, and I decided to ignore it because there was no other thought that offered an adequate substitute. I had nothing to cling to, nothing and no one to lend me strength except for this brave man who had risked his life to save mine.
He could have fallen out of his saddle. He could have torn his arm right out of its socket and would have been forced to watch me fall despite his heroic effort.
"Does your arm hurt?" I asked.
He seemed confused. "What?"
"Does your arm hurt from catching me? I can't calculate it in my head right now, but the velocity times my weight made an impact strong enough to tear your arm right off."
He chuckled. "The Hero of Elucia is back, thinking about others instead of herself. My arm is still attached to my body, and I didn't tear any tendons. Immortal, remember? Or nearly so."
