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"What are you doing?"
He pointed upward.
I looked up.
My roof.
Then back at him.
Then back at the roof.
"No."
"Your shingles are loose."
"No."
"They are."
"How do you know that?"
"I checked."
Of course he did.
Of course.
Because apparently the man had lost his mind.
"You checked my roof?"
"Yep."
"When?"
"Yesterday."
I closed my eyes.
Counted to ten.
Opened them again.
Unfortunately, he was still there.
"Why?"
He shrugged.
Like this was a completely normal conversation.
"Needed checking."
"It absolutely did not."
"It did."
"It didn't."
