Thank God, because the last thing I wanted to do was dwell on the past. At least not tonight.
Exhaustion came quickly. Between a busy day working my body at the gym and then a night full of dancing and drinks, I was ready for bed.
I said a quick goodbye to the girls before heading home.
The evening air was refreshing. I let my eyes slip closed for a moment as I stood outside, soaking it in.
Then I started walking down the sidewalk, heading for my home. It had started small, but I’d renovated it until it was fit fora pack. Though I didn’t have one to speak of. Maybe I was still holding a candle for my alpha.
As soon as I was inside, I kicked off my shoes and changed quickly into some cozy clothes before climbing into my bed.
My omega was unsettled tonight. Maybe it was the dream and the reminder of what we’d lost, but I couldn’t seem to shake Nikolai’s face.
It was hard to imagine what he’d look like now. He was always strong, big, built like any other alpha. Between his glasses and his smile, he was my perfect alpha.
I was the only one who ever saw his sweeter side. All those late nights sneaking out and staring up at the stars, dreaming of a better life, changed me. I let my eyes slip closed as I thought about things that were far too dangerous… like how it would feel to have his arms around me.
My chest ached, my omega desperate for the alpha we might never see again.
For her sake, I’d have to try.
Tears slipped down my cheeks as I remembered the way he held me when life got too hard. The way his scent would wrap around me, spicy and fresh and comforting.
Tomorrow, maybe I would finally have that conversation with Lark. See if she could help me track him down.
And if he had moved on then maybe it was time to give my omega permission to do the same.
I didn’t want to be alone forever.
I’d been through enough that happiness should be a priority. Maybe it was finally time to put myself first.
Sleep didn’t come. Finally, I gave up and snatched my phone, risking a video call with the only omega who could help me find him.
“Hey, you don’t usually call like this. Is everything alright?” She had a worried look on her face as she moved through herplace in New York. A door closed and the background noise quieted.
“I’ve been having nightmares again. The same old bullshit. But… I think I’m ready to look for my old alpha. See if he’s out there.”
“Are you sure?” Lark asked, giving me a look that was both serious and worried.
At this point, the girls knew about my past. She hadn’t come right out and said it yet, but she had told me I could come to her anytime I needed something.
This was me finally asking for that help. At least for something that wasn’t official Widow’s Peak business.
“I don’t even know if I’ll be strong enough to read the email when you send it,” I admitted, “but I want it to be there when I’m ready.”
“Avoidance. I love it,” she teased before taking the notes I gave her.
It wasn’t a lot to go on. Just a name, a home town, and a general description that might not even match anymore. But if anyone could do this, it would be Lark.
“For better or worse, you’ll have answers,” she promised.
“Thanks, Lark.”
Someone yelled in the background, and I waved her off before she could explain.
“Go be with your pack. No rush. Either way, I appreciate the help.”
“We’ve always got each other’s backs,” she promised before ending the call.
