I don’t respond.
Jace’s hand settles at the small of my back, warm through the cold still clinging to me. I barely register the movement as he starts guiding me toward the hallway. Luca and Noah flank us, one on either side, a silent barrier.
The med bay’s lights blur at the edges. I hear the words—“any injuries?” “She’s fine”—but they feel far away. Maybe the words weren’t meant for me. I sit and stand when they tell me to, let them check my vitals, and clean some of the grime from my skin.
Everything is mechanical.
I can feel their presence—Jace’s secure touch at my back, Noah’s shadow at my side, Luca pacing near the doorway—but it’s like I’m behind glass, watching them move in a world I can’t fully step into.
The void in my chest expands.
One moment I’m in the med bay, the next I’m standing in my room with Jace behind me, the door clicking shut. My hands hang useless at my sides. I’m aware of the ache in my knees, the sting in my palms from hitting the ground, the faint hum in my ears. It’s just background noise to the gaping chasm inside my chest.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Jace says.
I can’t.
The buckles on my vest are undone. Then my boots. Every piece of gear I came back with ends up in a pile by the wall.
When his fingers find the hem of my shirt, my body is a lead weight. He doesn’t push. Just waits until I nod. Then he lifts it over my head, gentle, the fabric whispering against my skin.
I stand there in my undershirt and leggings, unable to meet his eyes.
“You’re okay,” he murmurs, as if that matters.
He guides me toward the bathroom. The sound of the water fills the space as he twists the tap. Steam rises, curling around us.
“I’ll wait outside.” He turns and shuts the door behind him.
I blink, and I’m in the shower. The hot water runs over me, I watch, detached as the blood swirls down the drain. I lean against the wall and sink to the floor.
I love you.
His voice echoes. I squeeze my hand tighter. I close my eyes, trying to capture it in my mind. I’m scared that his voice will fade.
Distort.
I wish I could pull the sound out and keep it as a recording. Play it over and over.
I’ll always be with you.
I squeeze my eyes, theblood. All the blood.
My tears mix with the water.
Ithurts.
The water is cooler against my skin.
Knock, knock.
“Iz?” Jace’s voice is far away.
I can’t open my eyes. Can't find the energy to move. To answer. I just want to stay here, in this memory. Where his warmth is under my hands.
The door clicks open, Jace’s boots hitting the tile floor.
“Iz…”
