Her entire being froze. None of this was his fault. And she sincerely didn’t want him to be sorry for kissing her. It had been the most wonderful thing she’d ever experienced.
‘I’ve missed you,’ he said. ‘And I’ve wanted to kiss you for some time, but that’s no excuse. I should have asked your permission.’
She shook her head, but couldn’t face him, so she didn’t turn around. Instead, she stared at the door that was only a few steps away. The door she needed to exit. ‘Please don’t be sorry.’
‘I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘You haven’t upset me,’ she said. ‘I—I just can’t see you. Can’t see you ever again.’
‘What? Why?’
Because you make it impossible for me to think straight, which is what I have to do, she thought, but couldn’t say aloud. ‘I’m the one who is sorry,’ she said, which wasn’t an answer to his question, but the ultimate truth.
His muffled groan echoed against the walls, ceiling, floor, and her ears. ‘Has your family introduced you to someone? Someone you are interested in?’
He had no idea how true that was. ‘Not recently,’ she said.
‘I see.’
No, he didn’t see, and that wasn’t fair to him. Just like forcing him to marry her wouldn’t be fair. Pulling up her last bits of courage, because she was going to need it, she turned about, faced him. He needed to know the truth, then he’d understand. ‘Peter is ready to sign a partnership agreement with you.’
He frowned.
Before he could say anything, she quickly continued, ‘Despite what you told him, he wants the partnership to include me, and I told him that I won’t do it. That I won’t be a part of a business deal.’
‘You?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, a partnership with him includes you marrying me, and I won’t do that. I can’t do that.’
He took a step forward. ‘Why would he do that?’
‘To get rid of me,’ she said.
His expression softened. ‘No, he told me—’
Anger and hurt tangled inside her, creating a chaos she couldn’t control. ‘It doesn’t matter what he said. I know the truth. This is what they want. It’s never mattered what I want. They claim differently, but it hasn’t.’
‘You want to get married.’
‘Not like this.’
He ran a hand through his wet hair. ‘I don’t need him as a partner.’
Knowing what he needed and what he wanted, and that she couldn’t be a part of either, was tearing her apart. ‘Yes, you do. You can’t run a shipping company from the middle of the ocean.’
‘I don’t need to sail.’
She pressed her lips together to hold back a sob. ‘Yes, you do. It’s your life. What you love.’
He shook his head, stared at the floor while pinching the bridge of his nose.
‘I’m sorry, Drake. So sorry.’ The pain in her chest was crushing. She blinked to hold back the tears that stung her eyes. ‘I’m moving to our country estate—’
‘Why?’ he interrupted.
‘I have to.’ Seeing him would simply be too painful. ‘So you and Peter can form a partnership, one that doesn’t include me.’
He stared at her, his expression incredulous, as if he didn’t believe she was telling him the truth. Or perhaps it was the truth that he didn’t believe. Even though he’d told Peter he wasn’t interested in marriage, her brother had chosen to ignore it. That embarrassed her, it angered her, but most of all it hurt her. The pain inside her was greater than she’d ever felt.
