“Trace.”
She looked up at him.
“We’re talking now.”
Nodding, she said, “I’m glad.”
“Me, too.”
“What you said before, during therapy… That matters greatly to me, that you understand why I feel the way I do. I was worried you might never get there.”
“Like I said, I’ve had a lot of time staring up at the ceiling in Ang’s guest room, thinking about everything. And… You were right. You’re always right, and I never should’ve lost sight of that. One of the things I’ve always loved about you is that you always know what to do. I’d be flailing about, and you’d be like, ‘Nope, this is what we’re going to do,’ and it was the right move. No matter what it was, you knew the way to go.”
“That comes right from my dad,” she said with a small smile.
“The wisest man any of us has ever known.”
“Yes, he was.”
“I’ve been picking over the last few months, and I want you to know… I totally get why you were furious. I think our dynamic with the kids began early because you already had Brooke when we met, and your parenting style was set in stone. I had to catch up, and mostly I followed your lead. Or, I should say, I deferred to you because it was easier than having to figure out my own style, you know?”
“I can see that. Plus, I’m just better at it.”
He laughed, as she’d hoped he would. “Yes, you are.”
“Which is why I was so shocked by your permissiveness with Ethan. I’ve struggled to understand what you were thinking when you said, in front of him, that we should give him some freedom.”
Mike winced. “Saying that in front of him was a huge mistake. I knew it at the time.”
“So why’d you dig in when I called you on it?”
“I have no good explanation for that. I think I was feeling rebellious or something. Like I felt that maybe it was time for me to have an opinion, especially with Ethan as our only son.”
“You picked that time to have an opinion?”
“I thought I needed to step up more as he and Abby get older and the questions get more complicated.”
“That’s exactly the time you should defer to the one you said yourself is always right.”
“I sure as hell know that now, but I want to add another factor to the mix that needs to be said.”
“What’s that?”
He took a second, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Since Brooke was attacked, your default is set to ‘absolutely not’ with the kids. Their world, our world, has become smaller. You won’t let them do sleepovers with anyone other than their cousins?—”
“Because the world is full of creeps.”
“Agreed, but the default is set to ‘no,’ and I think that’s having a negative effect on them.”
“How so?”
“They see their friends getting to do stuff they aren’t allowed to do, and over time, that’ll build resentment. That was one of the reasons I wanted to say yes to Ethan when he asked to go out with his friends. I don’t want him to hate us someday for not letting him do things his friends are doing. And before you say anything, you have to factor Brooke’s attack into the mix, because it’s the reason you say no.”
“It’s not the only reason.”
“No, but it’s a big one.”
“Yes, it is,” she conceded. “I think about that night all the time and how close we came to losing her.” Tracy shook her head. “I honestly don’t think I would’ve survived losing her—or Ethan.”
