“You’ve survived worse.”
“I’m not sure that I have.”
“Jesse… You’re making my heart all fluttery with what you’re not saying.”
“That you’re the most important person in my life, and that won’t change no matter what we learn in Kentucky or anywhere else?”
“Yeah.” She sighed as she rested her head on his chest. “That.”
“You can’t be surprised to hear that.”
“Before I nearly died, I’d given up on ever having more of you than you were willing to give me.”
“I’m sorry that it took such a dramatic event to bring things into focus for me. If I had to guess at my own twisted psychology, I was holding you at arm’s length, so I’d never have to lose you. And then when I almost did, the arm’s-length thing seemed stupid and pointless. All I wanted was to hold you closer so you could never get away.”
“That’s fine with me, but what’ll we do when we go back to work?” Since he was technically her boss, their relationship would be frowned upon by the higher-ups.
“I’m not going to worry about that now,” he said.
“We’ll need to worry about it at some point.”
“Not today. Let’s take another lap and then get back on the road.”
He kept an arm around her as they walked around the huge complex before buying some pretzels, cookies and water for the car. Memphis was due for medication that she needed to take with food.
Her movements getting back into the SUV were slow and careful, indicating she wasn’t as tough as she pretended to be for his sake.
As he held the door and waited for her to get settled, he said, “Will you tell me if you need a longer break?”
“You’ll be the first to know.”
“Please don’t muscle through because you don’t want me to have to wait any longer. I’ve already waited forever. Another day or a few hours won’t matter.”
“It does matter. You shouldn’t have to wait an extra second to find out if this woman is your Jordan.”
Moved by her fierce support, he smiled and closed the door. When they were back on the road, he glanced over at her. “In case you were wondering, I’m fully aware that if it’s her, she won’t be my Jordan anymore. She has a whole other life now.”
“That doesn’t mean the one she was taken from won’t matter to her.”
“She probably won’t remember me.”
“Don’t be so sure. She was seven the last time she saw you. My earliest memories are from when I was four. I vividly remember a day at a lake with my family and can recall specific details that aren’t in the photos. What’s your earliest memory?”
Jesse grimaced. He hated that question because the answer was so painful. “I remember Jordan and me being pulled out of our mother’s arms when she was arrested. We never saw her again. My grandparents picked us up at the police station, took us home, and that was that.”
Her hand covered the one he rested on his leg. “I’m sorry you remember that so clearly.”
“Yeah, it’s one of those memories you wish you could wipe off the hard drive.”
“While Jordan may not remember that day or others that led up to it, I have no doubt she’ll remember you, the big brother who was always there for her, protecting her and making sure none of the bad stuff touched her.”
“I tried.”
“I have no doubt you did everything you possibly could for her and that she’ll remember you, no matter what happened after she was taken.”
“And if it’s not her?”
“We’ll keep looking for as long as it takes until we find her or learn what became of her. We’ll never give up the search.”
