She opened the wooden box on his desk and went through the receipts. Her suspicions were aroused. There were two receipts from restaurants, both for two entrées, two drinks.
“Well, that doesn’t really mean anything. Robert entertains clients all the time,” she justified to herself.
She started doubting whether she was being suspicious of Robert because of her inappropriate thoughts and feelings towards Michael. Maybe she was projecting.
And then she unfolded the final receipt; flowers, dated February 14th. She didn’t remember receiving any flowers on Valentine’s Day. Robert had given her a book and some chocolates, but no flowers. She was sure there was an explanation. Of course there was an explanation.
Stop being paranoid.
She spotted a shoe box, up high on top of the bookcase. She grabbed the desk chair, rolled it and climbed up on it. She stretched and reached for the box, a little unsteady.
She opened the box; it wasn’t what she was looking for: old photos from his childhood, ribbons for track & field, stubs to a Bruce Springsteen concert and a few letters. She scanned a few of them; letters from his mother, from a few friends, silly stuff. But then, one caught her attention.
Dear Robert,
I know I’ve said this too much but I do really love you. To me, you are not just a diversion as you have said. You are so much more to me. I wake up thinking of you and I go to sleep dreaming of you.....
Angela read as fast as she could, skipping to every three words or so; she couldn’t wait to digest all the contents of the letter. Her heart was pounding; she felt both excited and nauseous. Feelings of guilt lingered at the back of her mind butthey lingered so far back she hardly took notice of them. There was no taking her away from this letter.
I truly believe that you feel the same way about me although you confuse me. You push me away and then you bring me back. You bring me back so easily; just the way you look at me. I do feel guilty every time I go back to Lance and things have not been the same between us since I’ve fallen in love with you. That night on the ferry was the night I knew I was in love. I’ve written this letter to bring things out in the open. This is not just a fling for me. I hope you can be as open with me as I have been with you.
Love,
Laura
The letter was not dated. She quickly folded it and put it back in the box. Suddenly time was of the essence; she rushed to get the shoe box back where it belonged, realizing she shouldn’t be snooping.
Angela spent most of the weekend, obsessing about what she had seen in Robert’s office. She hadn’t been able to concentrate, trying to replay in her mind the past weeks, months. She was searching for a clue, for anything she could remember that might relate to the letter somehow. She had searched her brain for any recollection of Robert mentioning a Laura from his past. She realized that the letter could have been from ages ago andprobably was. It could have been from eight years ago, ten years ago. They had only been together for three years.
And when she wasn’t obsessing about the letter, she was thinking about Michael and debating whether she should return to Bowman estates. The voice of reason told her to stay away, but she had never been one to listen to her inner voices.
Four
Angela had been extremely annoyedby what Michael had said; the gall of him. Who did he think he was? Although they had gotten to know each other a little better, it still didn’t give him the right. He almost seemed jealous; possessive even. The feelings in her were mixed. Although she had been quite angry, the passion in him as he spoke to her made him seem even more desirable than he had ever been to her. She hated feeling this attraction and passion between them. She didn’t need this right now; her life was going just fine as planned. The more she thought about their conversation, the more she did seriously consider what he had said. She decided that indeed, she was going to get her independence back.
She went to the college to inquire further about the nursing program; the registration dates, fees and prerequisites. She had the prerequisites and the funds in her personal account. She would never dare ask Robert for the funds - he would be upset enough. She would wait until she was officially registered to tell him.
She took Madison to the Petting Zoo. Madison loved to pet the goats, ponies and lamas, and check out the rabbits andchickens. Every week, Angela would steal her away from her grandmother and take her somewhere fun. Both Madison and her grandmother appreciated the gesture. And of course, Angela loved every minute of it.
She met with an event decorator who specialized in weddings. They discussed flower arrangements, candlebrellas, table centerpieces and room decorations. The wedding was to take place in a church and the reception was to follow in a near-by hall. Of course, Robert was not consulted; he had made it clear he didn’t care about such things. Angela suggested and arbor covered in ivy; she had been inspired by Michael’s garden. She thought it would be quite romantic. This would add significant cost to the budget; she would have to check with Robert.
As she ate her buttered toast and drank her coffee, she couldn’t stop thinking about the flowers. Could Robert be doing it again? He had promised her he would never touch another woman again. He had reassured her it had been a one time thing; it had no meaning at all. After a short trial separation, he had proven his love by asking her to marry him. A year later, she thought she was finally done with her doubts; that she had buried them deep in a drawer and locked them up for good.
“I guess I was wrong. I’ll probably never trust him again.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I’m not even sure I can trust myself.”
On Saturday, Krysta and Madison waited for her by the fountain at the mall. Madison was dressed in a pretty plaid spring dress, her curly locks tied into the sweetest tiniest pigtails. She gave Angela her usual wide grin and ran over to her to give her a hug.
“Wow... that was the best hug ever.” Angela kneeled down to kiss her on the cheek.
They made their way to the photo studio where Madison was getting her spring pictures taken. Krysta had insisted Angela be in a shot with her; she was after all, her favorite auntie, Godmother, babysitter and best friend. Angela had gladly obliged.
They had booked the first appointment to avoid a long wait. The photographer; a young cheerful woman, ushered them into the studio. Her face lit up as soon as she saw Madison, dressed in her best; she knew she had something good to work with.
“You are adorable, pumpkin. We’re going to take some great pictures.”
“Yeah!” Madison was excited. The photographer took her hand.
“Here you can play with these props for a second, while I set up the background.”
