I sat on the love swing in the far corner of the garden, the soft creak of the chains the only sound as I stared out into nothing.The afternoon air wrapped around me, cool against overheated skin, but it didn’t touch the ache buried deep in my chest.
A tear slipped free.Just one.Tracing a quiet path down my cheek before falling into my lap.
I didn’t move to wipe it away.Nor did I chase the rest.Because they didn’t come.
The worst part was that I couldn’t cry for him.I couldn’t mourn him the way he deserved.
Because crying—really crying—meant admitting the loss.Admitting that Alessio was gone.That he wasn’t coming back.That the space he’d left behind wasn’t temporary.It was permanent.And I couldn’t face that.
So I held it in.Every ounce of it.Locked it down so tight it barely had room to breathe.Pain, unclaimed.Unspoken.But not unfelt.
Gianni’s words replayed in my head, sharp and unforgiving.
You didn’t even cry.
I swallowed hard, my fingers tightening around the edge of the swing.
He was right.That was the problem.Gianni knew me better than anyone.Because it had always been the three of us.
Him.Alessio.Me.
Tight as thieves.
We’d grown up together, moved together, fought together.Where one went, the others followed.It didn’t matter that I was the only girl—I’d never been treated like I didn’t belong.Even when they tried to soften things for me.Even when they held back, thinking I couldn’t handle it.I’d forced my way in anyway.Refused to be anything less than an equal.
I was one of them.Always had been.And I’d spent my entire life making sure they were safe.Fixing them when they broke.Holding them together when everything else threatened to pull them apart.
That was my role.That was my purpose.And I’d done it.Even when it cost me everything.Especially when it cost me everything.But losing Alessio—that hadn’t just hurt.It had carved something out of me I didn’t know how to replace.And the truth was—I didn’t know if I could survive losing another one of them.
I couldn’t.I knew it.Felt it deep in my bones.Another loss like that would destroy me.Completely.Irrevocably.Which was why I needed to leave.
France wasn’t about running.It was about distance.If I wasn’t here—if I wasn’t so close—maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much if something went wrong again.Maybe the blow wouldn’t land as hard.Maybe I wouldn’t have to watch it happen… then suffer the consequences of my grief.
I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, another tear slipping free despite my best efforts.
Coward.
The word sat heavy in my chest.But I didn’t argue with it.Because maybe I was.
“Tone.”
Atlas’s voice cut gently through the quiet.
I didn’t turn.
I heard his footsteps approach, measured and calm as always.
“Do you want me to get Neve?”he asked, stopping just behind me.“She can sit with you.”
I shook my head.
“I just want to be alone.”
There was a beat of silence.
Then the swing dipped slightly as he sat beside me anyway, the chains creaking softly as he pushed off with his foot, setting us into a slow, steady rhythm.
He didn’t speak straight away.Instead, he just sat there with me.Like he understood that silence didn’t always need to be filled.
