Murph rubs a hand over his stubbled jaw. “Yeah, that’s a lie. I don’t regret a fucking thing.”
Cheeks burning, I whisper, “Neither do I.” As I hurry out to see what Ben wants, I peek over my shoulder to find Murph watching me, heat and amusement softening his gunmetal gray gaze. “Rain check?” I ask shyly.
That gorgeous grin, complete with the heart-stopping dimple in his right cheek, makes a reappearance, almost tempting me back for another luscious kiss.
“Without a fucking doubt, sweetheart.”
Chapter 18
Rose
The past week has been one of the most surreal—and happiest—ever.
After dozing off on the couch while watching Joel, Murph, and Ben play with Legos, I wake up alone, covered with a blanket in a dimly lit living room, the TV off.
I reach for my cell phone on the coffee table and check the time. 7:00 p.m. It’s a bit early for Ben to put away his toys or go to bed, but maybe he asked Murph and Joel to play outside?
After we ate dinner, Win headed to the diner to help Nico. Joel said Nico has been struggling to organize his office for the past couple of weeks, but he finally broke down and asked Win to help for a couple of hours.
I stretch and yawn before getting up, fold my blanket and place it in the basket with the others, then go look for my son.
On my way to the backyard, I hear the faintest sound drifting from upstairs and follow it. I’m barely halfway up the stairs before I start smiling. I have a full-on grin by the time I stop outside Ben’s bedroom.
Ben is in his pajamas in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin. His green eyes are wide as he looks at Joel, who’s sitting near the bottom, holding the farm book I’ve been reading to him.Earlier, Ben was outside in the backyard, crawling around and doing cartwheels with Win before dinner. He made such a mess of himself that I gave him his bath early, got him dressed for bed, and hoped he wouldn’t spill too much food on his car pajamas before I could tuck him in.
Dinner usually slows him down a bit. Everything he does after that is inside, usually watching a movie, drawing, or playing with Lego—quiet, relaxing activities that wind him down even more before bed.
I know my son. He has to be reminded multiple times that it’s time to go to bed. Often, he will come upstairs kicking and screaming. For him to be up here this early, he must have asked for a bedtime story. This is a big deal. One I didn’t expect so soon from Ben. His dad always read him his bedtime stories, and that he asked Joel and Murph to do it is yet another sign he’s healing. As much as I’m grinning, I have tears in my eyes that I brush away before they fall.
As Joel reads, he periodically glances at Murph, who’s leaning against the wall opposite Ben’s bed, arms crossed. Murph makes the appropriate animal sounds to accompany the farm book Ben loves. Ben giggles, and Joel continues with the story. As impressions go, they’re pretty realistic, the result of Murph growing up on a ranch.
I rest my head against the door, silently enjoying the story alongside Ben, who slowly falls asleep.
Joel glances toward me, sensing my presence. As he continues reading, he raises an eyebrow, silently asking me, “Should I stop?”
I shake my head, and he keeps reading.
I watch my son slowly fall asleep with a smile on his face while Joel reads and Murph adds the farm-animal effects. My eyes fill with tears as I realize the disservice I’ve been doing to the men in this house. They have—every one of them—embracedme and Ben openly, warmly, and with so much love. And in return, I’ve hidden their existence from my family.
Ben is snoring fifteen minutes later, and I tiptoe in as Joel and Murph walk out, press a kiss on his forehead, and switch off the lamp on his nightstand.
Joel and Murph are waiting outside for me, and I look at them after closing Ben’s door.
“Sorry about that,” Murph says, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Ben wanted a bedtime story. You were asleep on the couch, and you looked so exhausted after dinner?—"
“Please don’t apologize,” I cut in. “Ever since Ben heard you roar, I’ve been counting down to him asking you to do it again.”
“We made sure he used the potty and brushed his teeth,” Joel adds.
“He doesn’t like to brush his teeth.” It’s a nightly battle for a boy who gets bored easily by such a repetitive task.
Murph gives me a fleeting smile. “Got that. But he knows it’s important. When he saw how tired you were, he said if he brushed his teeth, would we read him a story with the farm animals if he did it right away.”
“I don’t know how many times I’ve read that book to him, but he never gets tired of it. He says he wants to be a firefighter one day, but he loves animals so much that I’m certain he’ll be a vet.” I bounce my gaze between Joel and Murph, wishing Win were here too so I could say this to him as well. “Thank you. I haven’t said it before, but I’ve noticed all you do for Ben and me, and I appreciate it.”
“It’s been fun,” Joel says. “It feels like you’ve always been here.”
Yeah, it really does.
