I almost smile. I find a foothold in the buttress root and start up.
She’s been quiet since the river. And insisted on walking on her own after I rebandaged her feet, even though I know she was still hurting. I guess I’ve been a little quiet myself. I should not have had sex with her. That’s the bottom line.
I lost control, and I hate it.
I climb past the first branches into thicker growth, finding the next handhold, then the next.
Maybe she regrets it. I wouldn’t blame her.
I keep my hands moving, the rough bark dragging at my palms as I climb.
I check the canopy below me through gaps in the leaves, scanning the green for any wrong shape, any wrong stillness. This grove is dense enough that I’m mostly hidden as I climb, which is the only reason I picked it. A Red looking up would have a hard time seeing me. I keep close to the trunk and use the broader branches as cover where I can.
I think I scared her.
I was not in full control of myself. My dragon was right there under my skin the whole time, close enough to taste, and he wanted things that are just plain wrong. He wanted me to bite her. Wanted to mate her and claim her for himself. He wants to keep her. I hardly know her, and she and Flint have a thing. I’m pretty sure they had sex. He didn’t deny it when I told him he’s usually “one-and-done.” He’s not the type to settle down, and yet he mentioned that it was something he might explore with Carla. That means he has to care about her.
Fuck!
I shouldn’t have gone there. I crossed a line.
I’m such an asshole for putting a finger on her.
I should be respecting and protecting her. Instead, I fucked her hard. I was so much rougher than I meant to be, and the whole time the animal part of me was already planning a third. And a fourth. I wanted to fuck her mouth. I wanted to fuck her ass too, which is just plain wrong. I wanted to put my seed over every inch of her so that no male who came near would try to claim her, Flint included – especially Flint – and that thought alone should have been enough to stop me cold.
It didn’t.
I’m so messed up.
I get a hand on the next branch and haul myself up, breathing hard now, more from what’s in my head than the climb itself.
And the worst part, the part I can’t get away from no matter how high I climb, is that having her hasn’t fixed anything. I thought it might burn itself out. Scratch whatever this is and let me get back to thinking straight. Instead, it’s worse. I still want her. I want to put her against that tree and make her come so hard she forgets her name. So hard she never forgets me.
It can’t happen again.
Once, I can live with. I can lock it away. Twice is no longer a mistake. Twice is a pattern, and patterns get people killed out here.
I reach the upper branches and finally break through into open air, the canopy falling away beneath me in a long green roll, and for a moment, I just breathe.
Then I scan the area.
We’re moving in the right direction. That much is good. I can make out the dark smudge of higher ground a long way off, the kind of elevation that usually means a settlement nearby, andbeyond it, barely visible in the haze, something that might be stonework catching the light. The castle. It has to be.
It’s a hell of a lot farther than I hoped. I really thought we’d covered more ground even with Carla injured. She’s been pushing herself hard.
And yet, I underestimated the distance. It can happen in the jungle. I think we’re in for at least another two days at the pace we’ve been keeping. I might have to insist on carrying her. I’ll explain the situation, and I’m sure she’ll understand. We need to get back. It’s so damned dangerous out here. Luckily, these males don’t seem to operate in large groups. They seem to be loners with the odd smaller group of them. That’s been our saving grace thus far. Also, there has been a lot of fighting, so my battles haven’t drawn as much attention as I think they normally would. Still, we need to be more careful now that it’s getting quieter.
I scan the sky.
There are Reds flying in the distance and on more than one side. There are definitely fewer than yesterday, but they’re there.
The jungle below looks empty, even though it most certainly isn’t. Somewhere under all that green there are males who would tear me apart given the chance. I don’t want to think what would happen to Carla. It makes my hackles rise, and a snarl starts to form in my throat.
Mine!
Keep!
I ignore my bastard dragon. We are going to have to agree to disagree on that one.
