“Oh! You never told me.”
“I’ve been having fun the last few years, but I do feel like I might just dive into something serious if I find the right guy.” I think about Magma, and it irritates me.
“You will.”
“I’m not in any rush. I’m only going on thirty. I mean, look at you. You’re proof that you can be old and still find love.” I start laughing, sticking my tongue out at her.
She laughs as well. “You’re lucky I gave you your shot already. You little shit!” She laughs some more. “I have news.” She begins to tidy away the syringe and swab.
“Tell me.”
“I’m going to officially meet Ridge’s dragon for the first time this weekend. He finally got his permit. It’s safe for him to shift without assistance.” She tries to say it casually and completely fails. The smile is fighting to get out from the moment she starts the sentence.
“That’s huge,” I say. “Are you nervous?”
“Terrified.” She grins. “But I cannot wait. I know I’m going to love that side of him. I only hope his dragon will love me back.”
“He will.”
She’s lit up from the inside. She has been like this since she and Ridge moved in together. What am I saying? It’s been like this since right from the start. Even before she would admit to her feelings for him.
I’m happy for her.
“That’s great, my friend. I’m so happy for you.”
She gathers her file, tucking it under her arm, and gives me a soft look. “Are you sure you’re doing okay? Really?”
“Really.” I get down from the table. “I’m good.”
She nods, then squeezes my arm once. “I’m here if you need me.”
“I know.”
I walk back down the corridor to my office and sit down at my desk and look at the email still waiting for me on the screen.
I’m a little better than I was when I came back from Mistveil. Next month I’ll be better than I am now. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
35
Carla
I pull on my jeans, pull up the zipper, and then attempt to close the button, but it doesn’t quite get there. I try again, sucking in my stomach, and it doesn’t help.
I can’t close my jeans.
I make a noise of shock. It’s squeaky. Then I rip the jeans off and toss them in my closet, even though they did nothing wrong. I even shut the door with a flare of drama.
It’s not their fault they don’t fit me.
Right! That’s it.
I’ve been a member of that gym for forever, and I’ve walked through the door exactly twice. Once on the day I signed up, and once three months later because I felt guilty about not going. I pay my membership month after month. I tell myself I’m going to go but never do.
I’m going!
Just not today because it’s Sunday, which means rest and doing absolutely nothing that requires effort. But tomorrow, either before work or during my lunch hour, I’m going. In fact,during my lunch hour would be best because at least I can’t overeat if I don’t have time.
I’ve been back from Mistveil for six weeks now, and all I do is stuff my face. My sofa is dented from all the time I’ve spent on it. Yesterday morning, I went to the corner bakery and ordered two pastries. Not only that, I got myself a large cappuccino with whipped cream and salted caramel and proceeded to consume all of it in one sitting. I’ve been eating like there is no tomorrow. Not the healthy stuff, either. It’s been chocolate, pizza, pasta, my favorite Thai food – all of it, constantly, in quantities that I’m not proud of. No wonder my jeans don’t fit. I’d be shocked if they did. I’ve noticed how tight my work suits are getting, and I’ve ignored it.
