“You’re leaving the Mobile Command Center?” she asks, because that’s really the only thing I would need my badge for.
“Uh, yeah. I have an appointment in Concord City,” I say, trying to be as dismissive as possible. “Nothing major. I’ll be back tonight.”
“Oh, okay. If I find out anything else, I’ll let you know,” she says.
I’m not sure how close we’ll get to finding Rose if we figure out how much she was sold for, but it might give us a lead on the buyer. President Highton destroyed most of the government archives, including the video footage from the auctions, before he was dragged out of the Presidential Palace. Even the orc digital forensic team couldn’t recover anything.
I grab my badge and hurry outside. The Mobile Command Center has a fenced perimeter, and nobody gets in or out without scanning their badge. The only people who actually stay here now are orcs and a handful of humans. Even my family has returned to their apartment in Concord City.
I’ve learned how to drive. I can’t pilot a ship but flying cars are easy enough to operate. Easier than learning orcish. I’ve learned enough to read a few things, but I haven’t kept up on my studies since we’ve been here. After trying to speak it, I understand why most of them prefer the common tongue.
I pull my car up to the front gate and lower the top. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair anyway.
“Ah, Clover,” the security orc growls, scanning my badge. “Does King Lix’tuk know you’re leaving the base today?”
“Do you think anything happens around here without King Lix’tuk’s approval?” I laugh, looking away and putting my badge in my purse.
“No, it doesn’t,” he grunts in mistaken acquiescence, opening the gate.
I keep my eyes on the road, but I look around while I drive. The orcs have been working to desalinate the soil, ponds, and rivers across the country. They’re almost done and most of the rain is freshwater now. Green is beginning to dot the landscape, and in time, it’ll be as green as Uzrirgard.
But I won’t be around to see that. Nor will my descendants, because I’ll never have any. Beverly and Abigail’s children will be the legacy I leave behind. Maybe my face or my voice will survive in old broadcasts, shown to students who already take their freedom for granted. They’ll hear the words that started a revolution. No more sons. No more daughters. No more Clovers.
I’m content with that being what I leave behind. As a second-born, I never knew if I’d have children. Or if I’d even get to hold the ones I gave birth to, if I wasforcedto have them.
King Lix’tuk will never risk doing anything that could get me pregnant. I’m worried that’s part of why he’s distancing himself, why our bed keeps getting colder. It’s only a matter of time before he returns to Uzrirgard. I’m not letting him leave me behind. I’ll even learn how to fly one of those ships if he tries.
So, I’m going to solve the problem. He calls it mutilation. I call it freedom. I started a revolution to give everyone in this country their freedom. Shouldn’t I get to have it too?
I take a deep breath when I park my car outside the doctor’s office. I’m seeing Dr. Zill. She’s the best reproductive surgeon in Concord City. I made the appointment under Beth Maddox. She may recognize me, but I’d at least like to be in a room before she does.
I put the top back up, wrap my hair in a silk scarf, and put on a pair of dark sunglasses that cover half my face. Okay, I look a little ridiculous, but hopefully nobody will recognize me.
When I step into the lobby and see it’s empty, I let out a sigh of relief. I sign in at the front desk, take my seat, and it’s only a matter of minutes before a nurse walks out.
“Ms. Maddox?” she asks.
“Yes, thank you,” I say, looking down as I rise from my seat.
“You have some eye problems, dear?” she asks, pointing at my sunglasses. “Dr. Zill can’t really help you with that, but we can refer you to someone.”
“No, nothing like that,” I say. “I’d prefer to just talk to the doctor, if that’s possible.”
“Of course, no problem,” she says warmly. “Just let me get your vitals and ask a few routine questions.”
She takes me into an examination room, and I change into a gown. After she takes my blood pressure, a vial of blood, and a few swabs, I’m taken to a room to wait on Dr. Zill. I finally peel off my scarf and sunglasses. If she’s going to operate on me,she’ll see my face eventually. I might as well get the worst of it over with, if she knows who I am.
When the door finally opens, there’s no question she does. She looks at me, down at her tablet, then behind her before stepping into the room.
“Are you… Clover?” she whispers, closing the door. “Of course you are. I watched every one of your broadcasts.”
“Yes, I’m Clover,” I say, wincing slightly. “I just… I was hoping you could be discreet? I don’t want anyone knowing about this.”
“Okay,” she says hesitantly, her demeanor shifting from fan to doctor. She pulls a stool over and sits down, putting her tablet in her lap. “I believe in doctor-patient confidentiality. I believed in it before it was part of the New Constitution. Anything you say to me will stay between us. Tell me what’s going on. How can I help?”
“I need a hysterectomy,” I say flatly. But as much as I try, I can’t keep my lips from trembling just a little. “I don’t ever want children, and I would like to ensure that never happens.”
The lie tastes bitter, but it’s easier than saying I’m willing to give them up before I ever have to mourn them. Before I’d ever force King Lix’tuk to mourn that kind of loss again.
