I hadn't been to a mall in years—or maybe I'd never been to a mall, or maybe I'd been to a hundred malls, in a hundred different cities, and I just didn't remember. The lights were too bright. The people were too many. The sounds were everywhere—music, voices, the beeping of registers, the rumble of escalators.
Matt walked beside me.
Not touching. Not hurrying. Just present.
"Where do you want to start?"
"I don't know."
"Clothes. That's why we're here. Let's start with clothes."
He led me to a store at the end of the mall. The mannequins in the window were wearing dresses—soft dresses, the kind that looked like they'd be comfortable, the kind that didn't have bloodstains on them.
"In you go. I'll be right outside."
"You're not coming in?"
"I don't think I'm the target audience."
He smiled, and it was almost warm.
"Take your time. Pick whatever you like. I'll handle the cashier."
The dresses were soft.
I walked through the racks, my fingers trailing over the fabric. Cotton. Silk. Something that might have been linen. Colors I hadn't seen in weeks—pale pink, butter yellow, soft lavender, the blue of a sky I barely remembered.
I picked up a dress.
Pale pink. Short sleeves. A hem that would hit mid-thigh.
It looked like something Gabriel would have chosen.
Or maybe something I would have chosen for myself, before I forgot how to choose.
I picked up another.
Yellow. Tiny flowers embroidered along the hem.
It looked like something that would make me feel pretty.
I hadn't felt pretty in a long time.
I picked up a third.
White. Lace trim. A sash that tied in the back.
It looked like something a girl would wear to a party.
I'd never been to a party.
Not that I could remember.
I carried the dresses to the front of the store, and Matt was there, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Find everything you need?"
"I think so."
