“Man, what!” Love yelled out.
I shook my head, amazed that Jada could keep up with all the stories she was telling.
“No, she didn’t, Grandma. Mom wanted to get back with Dad. She told me. Dad said no.”
The grandma looked around at all the people she had just shown her ass in front of in the church, then she turned and looked at Jada lying there looking at peace.
“Amir, I am sorry… Grandma is sorry,” she said before she walked off with Veronica following her.
We sat back down with Amir and waited for the service to start. After a few more minutes, more of the family came in and sat around us.
The service finally started. People spoke about Jada’s friends, family, and men she was with. They all spoke so highly of her, making me and Love steal looks at each other and hold back laughs.
I was so proud of Amir. He stayed strong through the whole service, even smiling from time to time.
It was near the end, and they were about to close the casket when Amir jumped up and leaned across Jada.
“I love you, Mom, and I’ma miss you, and I’ma make you proud. Islah is going to help Daddy take care of me.”
Love and I stood back for a second, letting him get out everything that he wanted out. Once he started crying, Love walked over and grabbed him, holding him tight in one arm, and holding my hand tight in the other as we walked out.
I sat in the back seat with Amir, and he leaned on me the whole ride home, crying on my chest.
Once we got in the house, I took Amir up to his room, got him changed, gave him a snack, and rubbed his back until he went to sleep. I was heading into the kitchen to start dinner when I saw Love sitting on the patio smoking, looking like he was thinking.
I walked out the side door, and he shook his head at me.
“I fucked my son up.”
I shook my head. “No, you didn’t.
“I did,” he said as he exhaled smoke. “I hate that he’s sad and that cry—I never heard him cry like that.”
I walked close to Love, listening to him express his feelings so easily.
“Do you regret it?” I asked.
“I only regret it because Amir is hurting, but reading that obituary and everything else she has done, it was always going to end like this.”
I nodded and turned to walk back into the house, and he yelled out, “What about you?”
I turned back to face him as he continued. “Do you think I was wrong?”
I looked up at the sky as I exhaled.
“I don’t know, Love. I love Amir, but I don’t know. At least she was laid to rest.”
Chapter 24
Let It Out
It was the first weekend in weeks that I didn’t have shit that I needed to do. And after the shit show at Jada’s service, I wanted to step out.
Things were slowly getting back to normal at home. Islah had her moments where she seemed off or lost, but I didn’t read too much into it.
She was just getting back to the crib after getting her nails and shit done when Katie called me.
“Wussup, cuz?” I said, picking up the phone.
