“Yeah,” I responded.
“And he is gone for good,” he said. “That’s all I care about.”
I nodded against him, but my eyes drifted to the window. A car drove past outside, and my body tensed before I could stop it.
Love noticed; I should have known he would.
He took his hand and rubbed slow circles against my back. “Relax, mamas.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “I’m trying, baby…”
“I know you are, but remember that I am here for you. Get comfortable, I’ma get us some food.”
I nodded and listened to Love walking down the steps and out the door before walking into the bathroom and turning on the water.
“What is wrong with me?” I mumbled to myself.
I was so jumpy. I didn’t understand why. I was home. I had my man. Gio was gone for good. I didn’t understand why I was still feeling like he was alive and was gonna come back for me or something.
Once I was finished, I walked downstairs to Love, walking in with some pizza and wings. We sat in the living room and fucked up the food, then I lay back in his arms and watched a movie while he smoked and fell asleep in his arms.
Later that night, I woke up gasping for air.
My heart was beating so hard it damn near hurt. For a second, I was back in that room pleading for Gio to let me out.
Love jerked up, his eyes wide as he ran to the kitchen and came back a few seconds later with water.
“Drink this, baby,” he said softly as he helped me take sips. “Breathe, mamas, slow, deep breaths.”
I watched him to focus my breathing and to calm down all the way.
“I’m sorry,” I stated once I got myself together.
“Don’t apologize.” He pulled me against his chest.
I held on to him tight. “I thought I was okay,” I finally admitted.
“You don’t have to fake it with me. I know you need some time.”
His words made my chest ache because he said them so simply. I was trying to snap back to myself, whole time, he wasn’t expecting me to.
Love helped me stand up, then he carried me to bed, turned on some soft music, and held me in his arms, reminding me he was there and that everything was going to be okay.
The next morning, after getting me a new phone, we drove to Katie’s to get Amir.
Before we could get out of the car fully, Amir was running out of the house.
“ISLAH!” he yelled out.
That made my heart melt. I rushed to him, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“I miss you and your cooking so much.”
I laughed. “Well, I missed you and feeding you.”
Amir squeezed me tight again, then looked back up at me.
“Did Dad tell you that my mom is gone?”
