Page 77 of The Song We Lost

We talk about small things. The weather. The leaves are officially turning. Cole tries to convince her that orange counts as a neutral because it’s fall. She wants him to go to his friend, the groomsman, Adam’s pub opening in November, but he seems content to be glued to her side and doesn’t want to go, which feels odd. But I am tired and overwhelmed and I get wanting to hide away from the world. And I can picture Cole wanting to live in their pre-baby bubble.

Then she asks, carefully. “When are you coming home?”

I hesitate.

“I’m just… working out travel plans,” I say. “There’s some studio scheduling we’re trying to finalize.”

Her face brightens instantly. “Oh! Then you should know, Cole and Noah have been working on your space.”

“My… space?”

“The studio,” she says, like it’s obvious. “Your oasis. They’ve been working on it non-stop. Soundproofing. New equipment. Noah said it’s almost ready.”

My throat tightens, because I didn’t ask for that, but they did it anyway.

“I think you’re going to love it,” she adds. “A space that is yours.”

We hang up a few minutes later, and I sit there, phone warm in my hand, heart thudding.

What do I want?

The question feels dangerous now that I’m letting it surface. The label wants more. The industry wants momentum. There’s a version of my life where I keep going, keep shining, keep becoming something bigger and louder until there’s no room left to feel anything at all. And then there’s home.

I am just walking into my hotel room when my phone lights up again. I smile, expecting Sadie. But it’s Cole.

That’s when my stomach drops.

I answer immediately. “Hey.”

His voice is tight, when he says, “Bailey, you need to come home.”

My grip on the phone tightens. “What’s wrong?”

There’s a pause. Just long enough to tell me everything.

“Sadie needs you,” he says. “We need you. I… ”

“Okay,” I say, already moving. “I’m coming.”

I don’t ask questions. I turn to Rachel, who’s watching my face closely now.

“I need to go home,” I say. “We need to hold the recording schedule. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

She nods without hesitation. “I’ll handle it.”

I grab my things and Rachel follows organizing my travel plans.

Home is going to hurt.

Home is going to crack things open. I've carefully kept sealed. But my sister needs me.

And whatever I’m becoming, whatever I choose… It starts there.

chapter 20

bailey

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