Page 57 of The Song We Lost

I was told that people were excited about the idea of me playing with different artists, so Brandy polled them, asking who they would like to see most. And we started to make it happenwhen we could. Now every city has a new guest. It’s loose and playful, like the music can breathe again.

For the first time in years, I don’t feel like I’m trying to fit beside anyone. I take up space, and I start to find the joy in my music again.

Dave gets past security in Dallas. I don’t even know he’s there until Rachel’s hand tightens briefly at my elbow backstage.

“He wants five minutes,” she says quietly.

I laugh, but there's no humour in it.

“What does he want?” I ask.

Rachel’s mouth flattens. “He says he’s concerned about Luke and needs to talk to you.”

I don't want to see Dave or hear his voice. He has caused me so much pain over the years, so many issues in my marriage that he had no respect for. I step into the hallway anyway.

Dave smiles like we’re old friends.

“Bailey,” he says. “I’m glad I caught you.”

“Why?” I ask.

He launches into it immediately. How Luke’s struggling. How this doesn’t have to get ugly. How things are shifting, and deals are back on the table, and maybe it’s time to show a united front.

I let him talk, let him get it all out. Talk in circles around what he is actually here for.

“You aren’t here because you care about me or Luke or our marriage,” I say evenly. “You’re here because the optics changed.”

He opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off. “No! You weren’t worried when you pushed him to miss dates with me, miss anniversaries and birthdays. You weren’t worried when he missed the award show or my sister's wedding. You weren’t worried when I was protecting him all while you were pushing him for more, feeding the narrative that he had to do thiswithout me.” I step closer, voice still calm. “But now you've realized there are consequences. So suddenly I’m useful again.”

His smile falters.

“Is this about us,” I ask, “or is this about the deal you’re negotiating that doesn’t look as good without me attached to it?”

He doesn’t answer.

I nod. “That’s what I thought.”

Rachel steps in beside me. "The conversation is over."

I go onstage thirty minutes later and sing as if nothing touched me.

September creeps closer, where Jackson will join me for the last leg of my tour. We’ve already started carving time into the schedule, mornings for writing, afternoons for rehearsals, nights for shows. There’s talk of bringing in another producer, maybe two. The wordsalbum of the yeargets said out loud more than once, and we haven't written anything officially yet.

I just keep moving, the next day, next show, next thing to keep me busy.

In Chicago, Rachel tells me Luke hasn't responded to the divorce petition and keeps calling, leaving voicemails. She tells me I shouldn't listen to them.

I nod. Drink water. Go over the setlist again. I tell Brandy I do not want to do viral dances and that anything I actively participate in social media needs to be authentic and real.

I video chat with Sadie as much as I can and check in with Rose and Thomas once a week to reassure them that everything will be ok, that nothing has changed where they are concerned.

I keep moving, pushing forward, looking to the future so the past doesn't catch up with me.

what they say

BREAKING:

Bailey Brooks’ August tour turns into must-see event. Fans tracking guest appearances city by city