Page 33 of The Song We Lost

Maybe she’ll believe that I still love her.

Because I do.

That’s the part that keeps twisting in my chest. I love her so much I can’t even stand the idea of anyone else touching her hand, looking at her, standing beside her like they belong there. I love her so much it feels like drowning when she’s not in the room.

So why do I keep doing this?

Why do I keep choosing the thing that hurts her?

Every time I see the lights, every time I hear people chant my name like I matter, something inside me wakes up that I don’t know how to shut off. It’s not even about the music anymore. Not fully. It’s about the part of me that’s always been scared of being nothing. Bailey was never scared of being nothing.

She came from nothing and still believed she could build something beautiful. She came from loss and still chose softness. She came from grief and still found ways to be kind.

I came from nothing and swore I’d never feel powerless again.

That’s the difference and I hate myself for it.

The knock comes before I can think too hard.

Three sharp knocks.

My manager doesn’t wait. Dave pushes in like he owns the room, already talking.

“Alright,” he says, clapping once like we’re about to start rehearsal. “I’ve got updates. Big ones.”

I blink at him. “I’m going to the wedding.”

He stops like I said something in another language. Then his mouth twists.

“Luke,” he says slowly, like he’s explaining math to a child. “You can’t leave now.”

“I can,” I snap. The word comes out harder than I mean. “I’m leaving.”

He walks farther into the room anyway, pulling his phone out, scrolling.

“There are people here,” he says. “Real people. Decision people. People who can change your career in one conversation.”

“I don’t care.”I lie.

He looks up, eyes flat. “Youdocare. That’s why you’re here, instead of already being back home with Bailey.”

My chest tightens. Because he’s right, and I hate that he is.

“You can go tomorrow morning,” he continues. “You will miss the wedding but we can get you a few days at home with your family. A few days with Bailey.”

I know that’s a lie, he knows it too, and still, my body reacts like maybe it’s possible. Like maybe I can thread this needle. Like maybe I can be both places at once if I just move fast enough. Dave steps closer and lowers his voice. “And there’s another thing.”

He smiles like this is a gift.

“There’s an after party tonight. Not just any after party. The kind you don’t get invited to unless you’re… in.”

My throat goes dry.

I can hear Bailey’s voice in my head, too clear, too steady.I can’t keep doing this, Luke.

“I have to go,” I say again, but it comes out weaker this time.

Dave tilts his head. “Do you want tojustbe a husband… or do you want to be an artist? A legend? Do you want to stand in the shadows waiting for someone who can stand in the spotlight with her to push you aside.”