Page 209 of The Song We Lost

Summer rain taps softly against the windows while dim yellow light spills across scattered lyric sheets and half-empty coffee mugs.

Luke sits on the stool near the piano absentmindedly playing guitar while I lay stretched across the old couch watching him.

I still don’t think he realizes how beautiful he is. And it’s not just that he is objectively handsome, it's his softened edges, the way his eyes light up, the way he listens now. The steadiness in him. I’m in love with this version of him so completely it almost scares me.

Luke glances up catching me staring.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

His mouth twitches. “Liar.”

I smile slightly but don’t look away this time. Because I’m tired of pretending I don’t want him. The distance between us these last months was necessary. But lately every time he touches me my whole body aches for more. Not just sex. Him. All of him.

Luke sets the guitar down slowly. “What’s going on in that head?”

I push myself upright on the couch before crossing the room toward him. His eyes darken immediately. And god… that still affects me.

I stop between his knees, my fingers sliding softly into his hair.

Luke exhales shakily. “Bailey…”

“I’m tired of fighting this.”

His hands settle automatically against my hips.

“You sure?”

I laugh softly at that.

“Can’t I want to make love with my husband?”

Luke laughs quietly, forehead dropping briefly against my stomach like he’s overwhelmed by the words husband and want existing in the same sentence again.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”

My chest tightens painfully. “I mean it.”

Luke looks up slowly then. Really looks at me and suddenly both of us seem nervous. Which honestly would be funny if it didn’t feel so emotionally overwhelming. Because this isn’t just sex. This is trust and forgiveness. This is everything…

Luke’s hands shake slightly as he reaches for the buttons of my shirt and mine aren’t much steadier when I start tugging his open. We both laugh softly when he nearly tangles us together trying to stand from the stool too quickly.

“Smooth,” I whisper against his mouth.

“Shut up.”

His grin disappears the second I kiss him again. Slow this time. Luke’s hands slide carefully along my waist like he’s memorizing what it feels like to have me close again. There’s something almost unbearably intimate about the way neither of us is pretending. Just shaky breaths and trembling hands and years of loving each other woven through every touch.

“I love you,” he whispers against my lips.

The words hit me so hard tears instantly burn behind my eyes. Because I know now, without doubt. Without fear. That he loves me, chooses me, that he is all in and so am I. I don’t just love Luke, I’m in love with him too. Completely.

“I love you too.”

Luke closes his eyes briefly like hearing it still feels unreal. Then he pulls me closer and kisses me like coming home. We fumble through finally getting each other naked, Luke gives me a kiss and tells me not to move. I stand naked in the middle of the recording studio as I watch him lock the door and grab the blankets from the couch in the control room. Then he kneels down in front of me and spreads out the blankets, his hands shaking the whole time. He closes his eyes and swallows, his adam's apple bobbing. Then he looks up at me and there is so much meaning in his eyes. I move without thinking and kneel infront of him, Luke pulls me close and we take our time exploring each other, like it's our first time.

When Luke finally pushed into me we both groaned and then held each other close. Like neither of us wants this to end. He kisses my forehead and then pulls back slowly, and I smile up at him, whispering, “I love you.”