Page 130 of The Song We Lost

But… My marriage isn’t over. I just need…

The TV volume spikes suddenly.

Someone must’ve turned it up.

Or maybe I did.

I don’t know.

“Every voice, every heart, every memory…”

“Turn it off,” I say.

No one answers, because there’s no one here. Just me and the sound. Her voice. His voice…

I push up from the chair too fast.

The room tilts and my stomach lurches.

I grab the counter, knuckles going white.

Breathe.

Just…

Breathe.

The song keeps going.

“Through the miles and through the years…”

I reach for the remote and miss. It clatters to the floor, as I fall to my knees. I want to move. To stop this ride I am on. But I can’t. It’s like I'm frozen in my own personal hell.

I am frozen.

Listening.

Because I can’t not.

Because it’s in me now.

Because it’sher.

And no matter what people say. She is mine and I am hers.

I lay on the ground or maybe I fall over.

I stare at the picture of her on the tv and imagine it was me singing beside her.

Bailey… My sunshine.

There’s a knock at the door, or maybe there was already a knock.

Maybe it’s been knocking for a while.

I don’t know.

The door opens anyway.