Page 1 of The Song We Lost

chapter 1

bailey

. . .

Tonight I look perfect, even by industry standards. The mirror in the hotel suite reflects what the world wants to see. My hair is big tonight, not the loose, beachy waves I wear when I’m pretending I still belong to myself, but full, blown-out volume teased and shaped for stage lights and high-definition cameras. Country-princessbig.

My makeup is polished and stage-ready: bronzed skin, lashes thick and dark, eyes rimmed softly so they glow instead of glare. My lips are lined and glossy...Perfect.

This is the version of me they sell.

I take myself in with a shaky exhale. The only thing I am wearing that I chose for myself are the diamond earrings my sister, Sadie, gave me the day I left our small town in Alberta. Everything else was approved, tailored, and signed off by the entire team.

What the mirror doesn’t show is the empty space beside me. Luke was supposed to be here by now. I let my eyes close for a second, just long enough for memory to slip in before I can stop it.

Us at eighteen.

It was my birthday... it was everything...

Me with my thrifted heels in hand, barefoot running down the courthouse steps because we couldn’t afford a venue.

During the ceremony that wasn't really a ceremony but felt perfect because it was just him and me. It never mattered what we were doing or who was around us, because he was my moon, my gravity, and I was his sunshine, his light.

Sadie was crying harder than I was, clutching a wildflower bouquet she’d wrapped herself.

Luke’s hands were shaking when he slid the ring on my finger, whispering, "I don’t ever want a life where you’re not in it, Sunshine."

His parents were there with his brother, Noah.

Back then, he couldn’t be away from me longer than a day. Slept with one arm stretched across the bed even when I wasn’t there, like muscle memory might keep me close. Called me just to hear my voice. Followed me from room to room like he was afraid I might disappear.

Opening my eyes, and I instinctively roll my wedding band on my finger. I refused to get it replaced; I didn't want anything fancy or big. I just wanted...wantus, and the promises we made. The reflection staring back at me in the mirror doesn’t look like she belongs to that girl anymore.

The suite smells faintly of hairspray, perfume, and hotel coffee. My glam team finished up a few minutes ago: last curls pinned, lipstick reapplied, a final approving nod in the mirror. They’d buzzed around me with so much excitement that I almost felt guilty I was having to fake it. I felt like crumbling when I should have felt on top of the world.

"You look incredible."

"You’re opening the show."

"This is huge."

"This is your night, Bailey."

Now I am alone, and it’s too quiet. I cross the room and stop at the window. The city hums below, electric and impatient. Barricades already line the street. My travel plans were leaked, and fans are crowded shoulder to shoulder, holding handmade signs with my name and song titles scrawled in marker. A few have guitars slung over their backs like offerings. People are wearing shirts with my face on them, crying at the barriers, waiting to catch a glimpse of me on what should be one of the happiest days of my life. A thousand people who think they know me because they’ve memorized my lyrics.

I check my phone again.

No missed calls.

No texts.

Nothing new since last night.

A message buzzes in before I can lock the screen.

Sadie

I wish I were there. You’re going to shine tonight. No matter what, win or lose. I am so proud of you. I love you.