Silence stretches between us as I put my hands on my hips and breathe. Her intense gaze makes it harder to pull air into my lungs.
“I know you’d never hurt me,” she whispers.
“That’s not…” I sigh, closing my eyes. “Never. I’d sooner kill myself than harm you on purpose.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“I—”
I can’t get the words out. I don’t even know where to begin explaining to her why I said that or why I even want to do that.
I don’t.
I don’t want to do that.
“He’s struggling with understanding what wanting to do that says about him. Therefore, he’s refusing to face that fear altogether.”
Her head snaps toward the doorway at the same time mine does and my pulse thunders in my ears as I meet Amick’s stare. Embarrassment hits me like a punch to the gut and heat crawls up the back of my neck.
“How much did you hear?”
“All of it.”
His tone is even as fucking always.
“Why the fuck were you listening to our conversation?” I snap.
“I was coming to check on you two and came in right when she asked if you remembered what you said. That brief exchange happened the night we told her we loved her, so if you didn’t recall, I was going to remind you.”
“I don’t need you to remind me of shit. I need you to get the fuck out.”
He frowns at me like, for the life of him, he can’t understand why.
“I don’t want to get out. I want to support both of you.”
“There’s nothing to support. Nothing is happening,” I shout.
“Well, why not?” He tilts his stupid fucking head and I grind my teeth. “You’re twisting this into something it’s not.”
“Don’t butt into this and pretend you know what you’re talking about.”
“I know that our Binder has come to you because she wants to reclaim her power and control over a shared experience the two of you had. She trusted you the most with this and she’s asking you to trust yourself. Which you should. Especially after our moment in the meadow just now. You are not her abusers, and you are not your own.”
“If I’m not, then what the fuck does this say about me, Amick? If I want to do this to her, what makes me any fucking different?”
“For starters, the simple fact you’re even asking that. Do you think any of them asked themselves that before laying a whip against her skin? Do you think the Goddess of Seduction asked before she did it to you?”
I bow my shaking head and glare down at my feet.
Of course none of them asked themselves that.
“When you first said that to me, I knew there was a deeper meaning behind it, and the more I’ve thought about it, especially after today, I thought…”
My gaze flicks over to her and how she clenches her towel.
“Thought it was just a sick fantasy I had?” I ask.
“What? No.” She instantly argues, narrowing her brows as she shakes her head. “I thought you were trying to gain control as well, just in a different way than I was. I wanted to be put in that position but know that I have a say.”
