I took the opportunity and fled.
I told everyone I was just stepping out for some air. Damn if I didn’t wrap my power around me and starshoot here. I did get V to tell them where I was as soon as the guilt settled in.
It’s been an hour now and I just can’t convince myself to get up.
The sun’s rays burn against my back, but I’ll take that heat any day over the one that rises and falls inside of me randomly. Onemoment, I’m okay. The next, an icy chill threads through my veins. Then blistering heat melts it away.
That’s been the vicious cycle my emotions have been going through since the second Ellian stormed into our house.
I can’t get it to stop.
I don’t know how.
“Thayla…”V says, startling me out of my stillness.
“I’m coming back now.”
“No, you don’t have to. That’s not why I’m reaching out.”
“What’s wrong?”I ask, sitting straighter because of his sad tone.
“Nothing’s wrong. Lambrit wants to speak with you. He’s about to be there.”
My head whips to the tree line at the crack of a limb.
“Looks like he’s here now.”
He arches his brows at me and my face scrunches as I glance up at him.
“I’m sorry. I just…”
“Needed a break. Yeah.” He sighs. “Same.”
He lowers himself in the grass beside me and rests his elbows over his knees as he stares into the water. The longer I look at him, the more my heart hurts.
“Dumb question, I know, but how are you?” I ask.
He blows out a harsh breath and shakes his head.
“It’s weird, Thay. I spent so many years of my life so indifferent toward them. I understood early on I was the furthest thing from their ideal son. At some point, I quit looking at them as my parents and started seeing them as just adults who fed and clothed me. Then Laney…”
He closes his eyes and lets his head fall forward. My throat constricts. I already know exactly how he feels.
“Laney got very different parents than I did, and you know how resentful I was of that even if I didn’t exactly say it. I know I showed it.”
I try not to snort, but I fail and he cuts his eyes over to me.
“You called her the ‘other offspring’ for two years.”
His lips twitch.
“In my defense, I figured at any point in time, Mom and Dad were going to start treating her like they did me, so I might as well get her used to it.”
I roll my eyes where he can’t see it.
He’s being too hard on himself. Yes, he was a touch indifferent toward her at first as well, but he loved her from the first moment he saw her. He may have not understood that, but I did. I saw how tender he was with her.
“I’m feeling something I don’t understand,” he whispers. “I need you to tell me what it is.”
