“You’re still feeling things strongly?”
I sigh.
“I wouldn’t say strongly, but definitely still feeling. It comes, then it’s like washed away. My mind still recognizes it, though.”
She hums as her rubbing slows. “When I put my barrier up between myself and my mom, I felt…nothing. Well, it was a cold detachment. After it was up for so long, it kind of bled into my personality.”
My attention snaps toward her, and my eyebrows jump up.
“It was your mom? That’s who you’ve had an issue with and what Iric’s been helping you work through?”
“Yeah.” She lets out a shaky breath. “Havar’s and my mom have always been adventurers at heart. Once we were old enough to take care of ourselves, they’d hit the road for days at a time. When Havar got chosen in the Veiling, I thought maybe they’d both stay around a little longer since I was alone, but that didn’t stop them.”
She glares off to the side, then shakes her head before meeting my gaze again.
“The day of my Veiling, she didn’t come to the ceremony, so when I was chosen, the only eyes staring back at me were those of Havar’s and my friends. Then, when I got home, I got there just in time for her to be heading out the door. On to her next adventure. I told her I was chosen, and she said, ‘That’s great, honey, congratulations.’ I was stunned, hurt, so, so many things. I asked her if she realized this would be the last time she saw me, and she sighed like I was being dramatic. She gave me a kiss on both cheeks and told me to enjoy my new adventure. Then she walked out the door.”
My mouth parts in shock while my blood heats on her behalf.
What the actual fuck?
“I’m so sorry, Yemi.”
“Thank you,” she says with a small smile. “Anyways, I came here, and you know all the shit that happened. I would write her letter after letter, just venting. It made me feel better that I could talk to someone other than Havar about it. Then the next Veiling rolled around. I asked Havar to stop by if he could and check on them, see how they were.”
Her lips tighten, and her eyes water. My stomach drops.
“What?”
“She’d never opened a single letter. They were all sitting on the table right where I starshot them.”
A harsh breath falls from my lips and I shake my head in disbelief.
“That’s why you put the barrier up. To block out that hurt.”
“Yeah, and it worked wonders. I didn’t want to feel that. The barrier wasn’t healing anything, though. Just…hiding something that was never going to go away.”
She turns her gaze from me, and I get the picture loud and clear that she doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. So I nod. Even though she can’t see it.
“I’m not keeping this one up. Just long enough for me to get to them, then I’ll tear it down. I promise. Plus, like I said, I still feel plenty. It’s just dampening the emotions enough that I can actually breathe.”
“Okay.” She dips her head, accepting it even though she doesn’t want to. “Please just remember what I said. I also really wanted to make sure you didn’t put one up against everyone. We’re here for you.”
My head bobs up and down, and I give her a small smile.
“Thanks, Yemi.”
“Anytime. Now let’s go meet the good ol’ God of Creatures.”
A little laugh slips through my lips and my fingers uncurl from the back of the chair.
V files to my shoulder and nuzzles into my cheek as we make our way out my front door. Sevryn, Iric, Doren, Lambrit, and Rose are already in the front lawn waiting for us. Nero should still be in Valveilious, hopefully keeping his ears open for any rumors. Havar is already at the meadows, waiting for us.
“I got to get back to Ellian, but I wanted to see you off. Rose is going to come with me since Yemi is going with you to the Meadorium instead of staying here alone, if that’s okay?” Lambrit asks as he squeezes me tightly.
“Of course it is. How’s everything going for you and Ellian?”
“Good. We’re getting things figured out. I swear.”
