“I know you don’t. A Beginning God or…someone else does, though.”
My eyebrows scrunch together. “What do you mean by someone else?”
“I don’t know. When I called upon the God of Chaos and asked him directly if this was his doing, he laughed at me. Told me I pissed off the wrong being.”
The wrong being.
There’s no way.
The Messenger doesn’t have power like the Beginning Gods.
Or…at least that’s what we’ve been told.
“I still don’t know what to tell you, Gladian. I’m quite a few gods’ favorite. Unfortunately.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything. What I’m trying to get at is…” He takes a deep breath and steps toward me. “I’m sorry. I know what I did to you and many others before you was wrong.”
“You know, I got a feeling this apology is coming from a place of concern over your own power. Not what you truly did to me. A baseless apology doesn’t mean a thing to me.”
“It’s not baseless,” he snaps and his hands fist at his sides. Then his voice drops, rougher. “But you’re right, it started that way. At first, I hated losing my power. I was angry. I thought it was punishment meant to put me in my place. The longer it went on, the more I realized it wasn’t about my power at all. It was about you.”
His gaze stays locked onto mine, and something in my chest twists.
I crush it down.
“I whipped you when I knew Mara was in the wrong. Instead of admitting that, I decided to make an example out of you.” His voice doesn’t waver, but his fists tremble. “There’s no justification for it. No excuse I can give that would make it anything but what it was. I was wrong.”
Silence stretches between us.
“I don’t expect forgiveness,” he whispers as if he’s afraid his loud-ass mouth may shatter the tension. “I don’t deserve it. I know that, but I am asking for the chance to prove that I’m changing. Not with words. Not with excuses. With actions. However long it takes. Even if you never forgive me.”
I let out a quiet, humorless laugh, shaking my head.
“You know the worst part about this is you actually sound sincere.”
His expression doesn’t change, but tension bleeds from his strained posture.
“Sincerity doesn’t erase scars, Gladian.” My back flinches as phantom pain flares like it’s fresh. “You don’t get to decide you’re not that god anymore and expect me to just…accept it. You don’t get redemption because you had a realization after it costyousomething.”
The hope in his eyes fractures, and I see his truth clear as day.
He really means every word he says. Zero deception.
I’m not ready to forgive and forget, though.
“You want to prove you’ve changed? Then do it. Without pushing me.”
I turn from him and take a few steps.
“Let Sevryn know I’m going home, please.”
My starshoot carries me to my room as V’s hoot flutters through my mind, and I let my head fall back against my door.
Fuck.
Deep breath.
You still have work to do.
