“I want to know what you want. Not the surface things. A happily ever after with your men, to be left alone, yada yada. I want the deeper truth of that. You’re already in the middle of what’s going on in your realm. So what do you want out of it?”
A handful of things pop up in my mind without a second thought. Those things are exactly what she doesn’t want but already knows. The slight shake of her head confirms that.
She wants me to admit things I’m not sure I can articulate properly.
“Freedom.”
The word feels too small for everything it carries.
“Not just for me. Or my men. Or the people I care fiercely about, but for everything. The people. The creatures. The land itself. This realm is choking under rules stacked on top of rules. And those rules can change depending on who you are. If you don’t fit the hierarchy, you’re lesser. Disposable. And that’s taurnshit.”
I gaze out over the meadow, shaking my head at the beauty. It’s only as gorgeous as it is because the Veilatara are trapped here. They don’t get to spread their wings and soar, or share their wealth of loyalty, love, or power.
“I don’t even believe power is the problem. There will always be imbalances. And that’s fine, to an extent, but corruption starts when power turns into permission. To control, to break, to abuse. No one gets to do that just because they were born higher on some invisible fucking ladder.
“Every living thing in the Valorian Veil is meant to thrive. Instead, we’re all locked in a cage so old most have forgotten the bars were ever put there. They can’t see them. Those thatcan won’t fight their way out. They’ve just learned how to survive inside it.”
I blow out a breath and drop my gaze to the ground, forcing my feet to keep moving. My chest tightens as the words claw at my throat, demanding to come faster, freer.
“And my ugly truth…I’m a hypocrite. I don’t want my men and me to be the ones who fix these issues. I don’t want us to carry this for the rest of our lives simply because we were never meant to be born but were. We’re being punished for something we had no say-so over. The Beginning Gods were made to literally take care of this realm and instead, they’re selfish, absent, leaving messes behind, killing their fucking—”
My hand clenches at my side, hesitating as I simmer down the familiar rage. I try to, at least.
“I want them to grow the fuck up so we don’t have to spend our lives battling and fighting our way to freedom. I want to set this realm right so we don’t have to be puppets forever. I want to choose my men and my friends, who’ve become family.”
My mental voice drops to a whisper as I lift my eyes to the clouds.
“I don’t want us to be some chosen freaks, or saviors, or rulers. I don’t want my men to live their lives being feared and known as the God of Obliteration’s sons, or any of the vile labels that have been attached to them. They’re the most selfless and caring men—in their own ways—that I’ve ever met in my life.
“I want them to live every day without fear and constantly looking over their shoulders. I just want to live. And be me. A happier, not so angry version, hopefully, when this is all said and done.”
My breath rushes out of me, and I drop my gaze, watching the blades of grass flow around me with each measured step we take. I can’t bring myself to look at her. I don’t have to know much about her to know she’s important to her realm.
Besides the fact she literally appeared out of a portal unexplained and unfazed, the power that pumps off her skin is tangible. It’s been vibrating against me in pulses ever since she locked our arms together.
She probably thinks I’m the realm’s largest bitch for feeling the way I do about that level of responsibility. She wanted my truth, though, and that’s what it is.
We’re already in the middle of the madness of the realm. Therefore, I’ll see it through. Afterward…
I won’t—we won’t—be put on any hierarchical pedestal that we don’t want to be put on.
I refuse.
My Valtrue, since the moment I arrived, has given me a place of security and safety to be my most authentic self. I haven’t been able to embrace it fully because of this shit show we’re living.
I want to experience that without a metaphorical thumb pressing down on us.
“Okay then.”
“Okay then? That’s all you have to say?”
“Thank you for sharing.”
She gives me a small, tight smile.
I don’t know what the hell that means, but I’m pretty sure I just failed whatever test that was.
Kyzen
