“Are they alive?”
Does dead to us count as being alive?
I keep that question to myself.
“Unfortunately. Second, no, I haven’t verbally admitted that my Harmony can puncture and manipulate power to my brothers. There’s no doubt they’ve pieced plenty of it together, just as I’ve done with certain things about them, but you know, eating dinner and sharing shit all openly has really never been our thing. Plus, they don’t come swim with me in the hot spring.
“They know my Harmony does things to the body, emotions, and whatnot. Creed for sure has an idea of what’s really happening. I don’t know how he’ll take it if or when he learns how much I influenced his over the years. I still can, to all of them, and I’m sure that wouldn’t sit well with them. How do you say, ‘Hey, by the way, in Seductions, my Harmony isn’t just making everyone feel happy-go-fucky. I’m actually subduing their powers so they can be raped more easily.’”
“Riven—”
“No, no. Don’t sugarcoat that. That’s exactly what’s happening. There’s no running from that truth.”
Everything within me locks up tighter than the chains that held me hostage. Her silence has me on the verge of losing it.
I took her words and promises in the hot spring to heart.
I was honest because I didn’t think she’d judge or be repulsed by me like I am of myself.
She exhales hard, and the whistle of wind spilling from her lips causes my lungs to empty as well.
“There isn’t any running from it. You’ll never be able to run from something you can’t fully control. I need one more answer.”
I hold in my sigh. I’ve got my Chaos guarding my tender little heart right now and the more we keep talking, the more that armor keeps chipping away.
This is something I have to do piece by piece.
To tear that whole shield down in one go could very well unleash a type of Chaos the realm has yet to see.
Instead of giving her permission to carry on with my words, I roll over and adjust us until we’re nose to nose.
“I want to hear you say it. Tell me that’s why you hate and won’t accept your Harmony.”
My finger traces her cheekbone down to her serious, pursed lips. I tap them twice to make them loosen up.
“To say I hate my Harmony is cleaner, more straightforward. Simpler. But nothing is truly simple in our lives, little burden.”
I thoroughly enjoy the kiss she lays against the pad of my finger. I use that same digit to wipe away the lone, reckless tear she let escape her misty eyes. My hand splays across her lower back and I drag her closer to me.
“In my Harmony’s pursuit of protecting me, it steals away the protections of others. My consent in the way my power was used was stripped from me and in return what does it do? The same thing to many others. You can’t really ever accept that.”
“If you ever find yourself in that situation again—which you won’t. I won’t allow it—but if you do, your Harmony taking over is going to happen again. By not accepting it, you’re never going to control it.”
“Bad angel. Using Amick’s teachings against me.” I smirk at her very serious stare. “No more for tonight. You wanted to hearthis from me, and I wanted to give you what I could. The more we keep talking about this, the less of me you’re going to find.”
“Promise me something then.”
I slide my hand from her back and stick my pinky out.
“How official do you want this promise?”
She fights her smile by biting her lip, but she locks her finger with mine.
“As official as you’re willing to make it.”
“Go on then.”
“Promise me if you grow to hate me or resent me, you’ll tell me. Openly and honestly, but delicately.”
