My Spyvie. I called him Snuggles.
I name all the living dead Spyvies after him.
Snuggle. Snuglacious. Snugs. Snuggie-wuggie. Snugglybug.
Oh, and Fred. She’s bad, though. Cut the shit out of my face when I was trying to name her and—
Thayla clears her throat and gives my heart a small little pat. I guess that’s my cue to come back to the conversation.
“So up until that unfortunate event, my chaos had never come out. I had no idea it was even a domain inside of me. I mean, I felt flutters in my belly when things around us were tense, but my harmony would wash it away to calm. I figured it was nerves. It’s hard for me to believe all the Beginning Gods swarming us didn’t know, though.”
“Her, your father, and Derivius said nothing? Not once?”
“Nor did the Goddess of Creation or Goddess of Accord. Like I said, it’s hard for me to believe, but until that event happened, Ireally just functioned as Creed’s shadow. All eyes were always on him. So maybe they didn’t care to check.
“Regardless, that day happened and my father lost his mind. One, because he said I was marked by a traitor, aka Derivius. Two, I couldn’t get the Chaos under control. Everyone around us was losing their minds and there I was, standing in the middle of his throne room, unable to control my giggles.
“He wrapped me in his power, said he was going to kill me, but Sab—she stepped in. Told him to let her see if she could help. She took me to Seductions, to what we call the Charging Chamber, where you all rescued me from, and yes, it calmed my Chaos.”
I exhale and tighten my grip on her hip. The maddening war between my powers ignites and I blink repeatedly to get them both to obey me.
My little burden doesn’t want either in control to tell this story.
Just me.
I don’t know if just me can do it.
“You were six when that happened with Creed. So that bitch took a six-year-old to a sex room?”
I snort at the venom in her tone and that eases the battle behind my eyes.
“Yes, she did.”
“And your Harmony came back out?”
The saliva I swallow tastes like sweat, sex, and a sweet roasted scent.
“I locked eyes with a feeder who was screaming, begging for help. I stood there trembling. Transfixed. Not only on what was being done to her, but her plea for help that no one was answering. No one answered my screams to save Snuggles.”
“Bring him back. Bring him back, Creed! He wasn’t hurting anyone.”
I blink, jerking my head.
“My stomach stopped swirling and my heart started pounding. I couldn’t help but wonder if hers was beating painfully in her chest as well. I reached my hand out to her. Not for her to take, but for my power to go to her. Her screams calmed and morphed into moans. I could sense her settling, so I continued to push it.
“I pushed my Harmony into her until she was no longer worried about where she was. That whole time, I was telling myself to do to her like I do to Creed. Calm her down. Lo and behold, that wasn’t what I was doing at all.”
I don’t think he knows there are tears streaming down his face.
Does it hurt him to kill people?
Does he feel the pain like they do?
I don’t want him to hurt. He’s only doing what he was told.
I grunt as I silence the small voice in my mind.
At least I hope I only replayed that mentally.
