“That’s a big fuck no. I learned my lesson the last time I did that.”
Her eyes cast to Yemi. I grit my teeth and restrain myself from lunging the few feet distance between us.
“I’m not trying to make excuses, but Gladian had just torn my ass a new one for what happened in the Abandon. I saw your Attend—”
The warning noise that leaves my throat has her clearing hers instantly.
“Yemi. I saw Yemi leaving the Attendants’ chamber, and since I just got blessed out because of what you did for me, my anger—embarrassment maybe—took over.”
“That’s an explanation. Not an apology.”
She nods a few times as if she’s having to work up the courage to do that.
“I never should’ve put my hands on you, Yemi. I’m sorry.”
I don’t say anything. Her words are meaningless to me, but they aren’t directed at me. So my opinion doesn’t really make a fuck.
“You must really think you’re about to die,” Yemi says.
I snort, and my not very nice smirk lingers on my lips when she cuts her eyes at me.
“It’s definitely on my mind. Thayla made it clear to Gladian that she has no intention of helping any of us if something happens, which means her Valtrue won’t either. He made it clear to us that if something goes wrong, we’re on our own. So yeah, not all that dramatic, seeing as we’re infiltrating one of the most populated areas of the Abandon.”
“Him not helping you makes no sense, seeing as you all are literally coming with us to save one of your own. He won’t leave you behind,” I argue, but she shakes her head.
“He expects us to make it back or die trying. You go down honorably, or you don’t come back.”
I study her and let her words sink in. “Well, I’ll be damned. That’s why you were so mad I saved you.”
She hums. “Yeah. You knocked me off my standing in Gladian’s eye, and he was pissed about that. I knew as soon as you killed all those Oblirians and offered me your hand what that meant for me. I thought you were doing it on purpose. Trying to declare that your Valtrue is the strongest. Rub it in my face.
“It really didn’t occur to me you truly don’t give a fuck about any of us until what you did in the Court. Our standing in society, our power, the rules, none of it. I thought it was all a show. The way you acted and the things you said made no sense to me at all until Creed told us what Jeremiah and Mellcom did. You wanted none of this.”
“I tried telling you that the first time I spoke to you.”
“Yeah, I know.” She sighs, rising to her feet and dusting off her hands. “That type of freedom must be nice.”
We watch her walk over to her Valtrue and the two other groups cleaning their shit up. Not even one of them acknowledges her. The misery that surrounds all of them is visible, I swear.
“Well, that was weird and unexpected,” Yemi says.
I murmur my agreement as I stand and offer her my hand.
“I’m telling you, it’s this place. It brings out the worst in everyone.”
“That wasn’t her worst.”
“It wasn’t the worst she’s ever treated us, sure, but it was her own personal worst. That last little statement she made was loaded. She doesn’t truly want to fight for the things she fights for but isn’t strong enough to push back against the standards expected of her,” I say, and she grunts, her gaze growing distant.
Yep, it looks like she’s experiencing it too.
Fuck, I hope she isn’t feeling nearly as shitty as I do.
“It seems your Guider Valtrue member is rubbing off on you.”
She forces a chuckle through her lips as we approach the guys, and I give them a tight smile as we join their circle.
I wish I could give all the credit to Amick that I now have a profound ability to profile someone that quickly, but no.
