“It was only when we went after Iric that I realized the warmth spreading through me each time I cross a barrier is this power responding to the already established barrier. Fuck. Yemi, do you think I could’ve created that barrier that separated me and Obliteration?”
“Well…I mean, who else would have? I wasn’t there then.”
“He tilted his head back and said Val. He seemed to have thought, or at least I assume he thought it was the God of Boundaries. He grew madder by the second. I guess because he wasn’t getting a response. For the Valories, I can’t believe I forgot this happened.”
“I mean, it’d make more sense that it was your power lashing out. No offense or anything, but you were charging at the God of Obliteration. Our powers have a pretty strong sense of self-preservation.”
My mouth gapes as I drop back down on my ass.
My lips flap together with my harsh breath, and I stare at Yemi, dumbfounded.
“I didn’t mean to take over your lesson.”
She scoffs teasingly.
“You didn’t. I just wanted you to know what you did and see that you could harness it yourself. The hardest thing to learn about this power, really any of them, is when and, in your case, which one to call up.
“I have no doubt in a controlled situation, you’ll wield all of them with ease soon enough. Your powers are a part of you. They’re here for you. The other reason I wanted to be the one to talk to you is…”
“What? Don’t get shy on me now.”
Her features grow serious and she tightens her lips.
“You put up an emotional boundary in yourself right before you swung your dagger at Mellcom. You need to bring it down, Thayla.”
My forehead wrinkles and I think about that moment. I didn’t do anything like that. Not purposely anyway.
“I don’t know what that is or what I did.”
“Emotional barriers differ greatly from physical ones. They’re inside of us.” She pats her heart, then her temples.
“You can place a barrier in either spot and block your emotions toward someone. Good, bad, indifferent. You put one up and then swung. He starshot out just in time. I know you wouldn’t have done that had you not put it up. You may hate him, may even want him dead, both of which are understandable. But you don’t want to be the one to do it.
“It needs to come down, sooner rather than later because if it doesn’t, and you react in a way you normally wouldn’t, once it comes down, so do your true emotions. You then live with the guilt, regret, and whatever else that you may feel about what you did.”
I swallow the lump that clogs my throat.
She’s right. I hate him. I don’t care if he dies.
Honestly, I could be the one to do it.
And I wouldn’t give a single fuck.
“You sound like you’re giving advice from experience, Yem.”
Her eyes immediately start watering, and I feel like an asshole for saying that.
“I am. I’m living through it right now. I’m not ready to talk about it, but if not for Iric helping me through it, I’d be drowning in guilt right now. I don’t want you to go through that. I’m about to say something really blunt and as your best friend, I ask that you listen without getting mad at me.”
Heat flushes across my face as nerves race through my body. I don’t know how I feel about that.
“Okay.”
“You’ve been through far more than I have. A lot more and a lot worse. I know this is a big ask, and I’m not asking you to say yes right this very second. I want you to think about it. Iric has the ability to help with emotional trauma. He can help you process it and even take steps to healing.
“I want you to let him help you take that emotional barrier back down and let him help you work through some other things. Especially whatever you just went through. I know it was bad, Thayla. I can see it in your eyes. You shut down in a way I’ve never seen before the moment your eyes landed on Mellcom.”
My lids immediately fall shut so she can’t observe any more. Before I did that, though, I got a very clear view of how much she’s worried about me and how much she cares.
