They both were in undeniable pain, but Lusia’s soul was a touch stronger.
“By myself, no. I could’ve asked for help. I should have. When I yelled at my brothers to go get Ellian and Annalise for me, I should’ve told Kyzen to go find Lusia and slow down whatever was happening.
“As soon as I handed Samarie to Annalise in the room the Gods Veil is in, Lusia’s soul quit calling for me. I knew what that meant. I felt it. I starshot to the house, had a breakdown in my bathroom for however long, then came out to get to cooking. Iexpected the house to be empty, but all three of my brothers were sitting at the table silently.
“Solemnly, Amick looked at me and told me all responsibilities were canceled for the day because Lusia had just jumped off the Hailtorium. He didn’t know what he was telling me was like stabbing a sword through my soul. It’s excruciating to miss the call of a soul. Hearing how she did it on her own added to the pain.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath as our footsteps fall still. She squeezes my hand and lays her other to my heart. I exhale slowly.
“I felt like such a failure. If I had more of my power, I wouldn’t have even had to go to her to answer her prayer. I could’ve given her a peaceful, merciful death and freed her from what she had endured. Instead, she died thinking she had no other choice. She was petrified.”
My arms wrap around Thayla’s body as she lays her head on my chest. Her silent support keeps my soul’s shivers minimal and my breathing even.
“If I were in your shoes, I’d feel the same way. There’d be no convincing myself otherwise. So I understand the guilt you’re trying to carry. As your Binder, though, I have to convince you otherwise.”
My lip twitches the barest amount.
“You’ve had six years to think of these scenarios, Creed. I know for a fact, none of these considerations came across your mind in the short time you had from getting to one of them, then the other. In a moment like that, you wouldn’t have had time to devise a plan with your brothers. If you had, you may have lost them both.
“You went to the soul who had the least chance of survival if you did nothing and that’s okay. It was an impossible decision.One you had to make in seconds. There was no right or wrong choice. There was simply a choice.
“Stand by your decision. When you see that little girl at Annalise’s, smile at her. Never correct her for the way she says your name. You saved a baby’s life that day. Be at peace with the fact that Lusia isn’t suffering whatever darkness she was suffering anymore. She’s free from it.”
My body slumps, not in relief, but acceptance.
I’ve thought about those same things many times over the last six years, but it hasn’t helped. Each what-if and what I should’ve done glared at me like a vicious reminder. Every time I attempted to reason with myself, it felt like I was making excuses.
I pull her down to the ground with me and position her between my legs with her back against my chest. I lay a single kiss on her forehead.
“Thank you, my endling.”
“Anytime, my sweetling.”
I snort and shake my head at that shit. I’ll never admit that the nickname doesn’t bother me one bit.
She can have whatever sweetness is in me.
No one else.
“Can I ask you something?”
I glance down at her, although I can’t see her face. The softness in her tone is different than what it was a second ago. There’s a timidness to it.
“Anything.”
“Did the God of Obliteration and the Goddess of Creation make your swords specifically for you?”
Well, that isn’t what I thought she was going to ask at all.
“No. They were originally made for my father. They were gifted to me when I took over Hellveilious.”
“Why did they even make them?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but I can assume it was so my father had a weapon strong enough to cut down his counterparts if he dared to try. There’s no telling with the two of them.”
She grunts. “I was nervous enough to work on his power. Now you’ve got me worried about hers. Is she evil like him?”
I clench my jaw and sigh in annoyance. Not at her. At them.
