I thought to myself, as soon as she gains consciousness, I’ll see her truth.
I, in fact, did not.
Her attention moved in measured passes—one brother, then the next—assessing, comparing. When her gaze reached me, it didn’t linger longer than the others.
Yet mine stayed fixed on her, cataloging every detail.
You can tell a lot about a god by their eyes.
Even the color has a story to share.
Hers shared so much and so little.
They were composed of concentric rings. Gold nearest the pupil, followed by green, then blue, and brown at the edge. The order didn’t fluctuate. The colors didn’t bleed together. They coexisted.
It was the most stunning contradiction I had ever seen.
Disappointment flooded me when the High Chancellor caused her to narrow them.
My fingers shake uncontrollably as I flip the pages.
Entry after entry greets me.
Ink spills across the paper in the observations he’s made of me. Our moments.
“Amick…”
“I’m not the best at explaining what I feel, but I can, in great detail, explain what I see.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Don’t you do it.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the pressure building in the back of my eyes at bay.
It takes a great deal of restraint not to jerk my book to my chest when he gently pulls it out of my grasp.
I know that’s my sign to move on to Kyzen, but my body doesn’t want to listen to me.
My very being is trapped in this overwhelming moment of emotions.
I force my lungs to draw in as much air as I can when Kyzen’s soul caresses mine, encouraging me to keep going.
So I do.
Very wobbly.
“Close your eyes and hold your hand out for me, gorgeous. I’m going to make you work a little bit for my gift.”
His teasing tone breaks up my petrified state enough that a small, watery laugh slips through, and I do what he instructs.
Cold metal lands against my palm and I desperately want to open my eyes but don’t. It isn’t heavy at all, and it’s circular. That’s all I can make out.
He closes my fingers around the object, then leads my hand until it’s pressed against my heart.
The poor organ is pounding at a concerning speed.
“I want you to focus on your heartbeat. Keep it at the forefront of your mind.”
