“I thought very helpful advice, but apparently not.”
I reiterate my exact recommendation. I still don’t understand the error of my words, but judging by the way Kyzen sighs and pinches his nose, I didn’t communicate something effectively.
“What was he even doing here?”
“He came to express he wasn’t going to hold Riven’s actions over our heads.”
He snorts. “You know you’re only good at lying when you have time to think about the lie, right?”
“That’s not true whatsoever.”
“Yeah, okay. What was the real reason?”
I casually roll up the agreement as I would any other scroll and tuck it into my desk drawer. He stands there, shifting from side to side while I organize the books I pulled out to use to make Thayla’s notes.
“Do you know what doppia disaccord means?” I ask.
His brows scrunch. “I’m not sure. Is that what he came to ask you about?”
“Yes, and I don’t know what it means either.” His eyes widen and he whistles. The racket echoes around my office inan annoying flutter. “How are you not sure if you know what something means or not?”
“Same as you, Amick. Do you remember absolutely everything you’ve learned over the years?”
I grit my teeth. “You know I don’t, but one day, I will. And I try incredibly hard to now.”
“Well, I won’t ever remember everything I learn, but I will look into that for you if you want me to.”
“I suppose two sets of eyes are better than one.”
He huffs at me and plops down in Thayla’s seat. My nostrils twitch.
“What’s got you wound so tight today?”
“I’m not wound tight.”
“You are. You just made a face of disgust at me.”
I attempt to fix my face, but that only makes him chuckle.
“I’m not wound tight. I’m irate, irritated, and missing Thayla’s company.” He smirks and I frown at him. “Do not pick on me. I realize I left her less than an hour ago, but it’s not the same without her here every day. I miss her laughter filling the silence.”
“I know. I’m not picking. I find it endearing that you feel that and even expressed it to me. You want to tell me why you’re also irate and irritated?”
I grab the decree from Harriseen and pass it over to him without an explanation. He’ll understand as soon as he reads it.
It sullies his mood just as it did mine.
“I hate him, Amick.”
I nod. His admission is delivered low, like it’s the opposite of fury, but in fact, it’s the purest form of it.
It’s a raw hatred that I somehow completely understand.
I thought I knew what hate felt like due to all the things done to my brothers and me in our adolescence.
I had no clue how consuming that emotion could truly be until my Binder was hurt by the very beings who hurt us. There are depths to it, and I believe I’m very close to reaching the bottom.
He exhales as he runs his palm down his face. The shift from on the edge to giving me a tight smile is swift but not concerning.
