“It’s fine. Nero and Iric were the only two who didn’t know. The truth would’ve had to come out anyway.”
“No, it wouldn’t have.”
“In order for Doren to discuss the Binding, it would have,” Amick argues, cutting his eyes at Creed, then he focuses back on Doren. “Carry on.”
“Yes, well, for starters, if you haven’t already figured it out, which I’m sure you have, Alamar, God of the Sea, helped me fake my death. He’s a great ally and friend of mine. He provided me food, supplies, friendship, and information during my time in the Lost Sea. He was also the one who drew the map in my book for me. I can see paths, but I struggle with land markers and whatnot.”
“He was the one who took it to Oddian for Thayla to find,” Amick summarizes before Doren can utter another word.
“Yes, he was. He—”
“At the direction of the Messenger?” Thayla cuts in.
“Yes.”
“They knew that many years in advance that Thayla would read that book?”
Doren’s lips part. “Well, if not Thayla…”
His glance shifts and her entire body tenses.
“They have their fucking eyes on Lambrit?”
That cold, deadly question has the whole room falling to silence. Vibrations skirt across my fingertips. Those tremors aren’t mine, though. I flex my fingers, hoping to soothe her.
“It’s okay, Thay,” Lambrit mumbles.
“The hell it is. None of them, the Messenger, the Valories, or the fucking Beginning Gods, should be watching you.”
“They keep their eyes on all of us, Thayla. They have for a long time,” Doren says softly and she lets out a deep breath.
“So how often does the Messenger reach out to you?” she asks.
“As often as they need or want to. I’m always receptive to whatever message they wish to give me. Why?”
“I’m just trying to figure out why they’re so giving with messages to others, but me, the only fucking being alive they’re tied too, can’t get a damn warning that she’s about to get dragged through her own personal hell.”
Again, the room descends into a hush aside from Thayla’s heavy breaths. Amick’s fingers dust mine as he too slides his hands into her lap to hold her.
No one speaks as she closes her eyes and breathes.
“I’m sorry, Doren. That’s not your fault at all. Ignore my outburst.”
“That’s quite all right. I understand and completely sympathize with your frustration. May I suggest you tell them that? Explain your anger to them.”
“I can’t see a powerful creation of the Valories taking getting cussed out often very well. Not to mention, V made it clear they wouldn’t be very forthcoming with information if my intentionswere basically superficial. Which they are. I couldn’t give a shit to really know them.”
“You’d be surprised. For years after I was given the Binding, I received nothing but silence. I spent many nights lying on the sand, looking at the stars and releasing all my anger on the Messenger. Eventually, they began responding more. It was almost as if the moment I trusted my true feelings to stay with them, they became willing to respond.”
Her eyebrows draw down and she stops pushing her food around her plate.
“So when the Binding washed up at your feet and they gave you that first message, you just listened to them blindly? You didn’t really trust them?”
“Goodness, no. I didn’t trust any higher power at that point. My submission and willingness to do as I was instructed was purely from a place of fear. I figured, if the Domain Gods were as bad as they are, what could this being do?”
“They are a bunch of assholes, aren’t they?” Riven asks with a chuckle.
“The vast majority, yes,” Nero answers and we all snap our attention to him as he takes a sip of his drink.
