The grasp my harmony has on me right now is suffocating. I’m really going to have to start some shit to get my chaos to come out and play when we leave.
Everything’s all sugary and sentimental right now. My thoughts are pleasant but pressuring.
It’s driving me fucking crazy.
I hate this side.
My head and my heart wage war on one another every time this half of my power is in control. The two major organs—okay, three including my dick—can’t come to a compromise whatsoever about the biggest conundrum in my life.
Her.
I made the grave mistake of talking to Annalise about this when I first got here. She asked how Thayla was doing and that translated to me as ‘Spill your guts and tell her how those delicious creamy things she made last night made me fall in love.’
After that, I said I was disgusted with myself.
She smiled all weirdly at me and proved she’s a traitor. She’s firmly team ‘Make Thayla fall in love with me,’ and that shit irks my nerves.
Why can’t the little burden be like all the other goddesses here? Why does she have to fit into our fucked-up Valtrue so perfectly?
The chaotic push and pull of my emotions are growing tiresome and the embarrassment I experience every time I think about that stupid-ass question I asked her is pissing me off to new heights.
Embarrassment…never in my fucking life have I felt that. A small sense of guilt crawls through me every time I call the others out about anything now. This is what they feel and I’m livid that she’s made me feel it.
“I never said that.”Her sweet little seductive voice rings in my mind and I shake my head to clear it.
She was supposed to shut the question down. Not make my heart flutter.
Ugh, I’m so mortified at myself. I can’t even think about what I asked her without my body growing hot.
What if she tells one of the others what I asked?
I swear to the Valories, I’ll run away.
Matter of fact…
A slow smile creeps across my face as I start mapping my escape in my mind. We’ll be free of the Godsdawn in a matter of a few days, and I’ll have multiple opportunities to just…slip away. Become lost to the Valorian Veil and away from the temptation of my Binder.
The ding of the cooker going off pulls me from my brilliant plan and I peer down at Ezra as he flinches at the noise. My power pushes more without my command and I huff out an annoyed breath.
“When my chaos is in control, little one, that’s going to be a magnificent plan. I’d offer to bring you with me, but babies are as much responsibility as Binders. I don’t have it in me. I’ll come visit, though, maybe.”
A small snore leaves his lips, and I take that as acceptance. Just as I slide on the cooking mitt, a shriek echoes behind me.
“You can’t open the cooker with a baby in your hands, Riven.”
“Why not? He’s nestled in the crook of my arm nicely.”
Annalise shakes her wet head and marches across the kitchen. Her hand shoos me away as she grabs her handy-dandy, well-used mittens and pulls out a few trays of her famous jumbo mixed berry muffins. The fragrance immediately engulfs me, and I inhale as hard as I can.
“Are all of those for me?”
“I’m sending a whole tray with you, but you’re to share with your brothers and Thayla.”
Ugh…her again.
My groan earns me a stern look that melts away just as quickly when I give her an innocent grin. “Fine. I’m not selfish enough to withhold this deliciousness.”
“You’re not selfish at all.” I ignore that comment completely. “Are you all excited to be leaving Godsden for the first time? I’m quite jealous you get to explore.”
