“It’s not that they aren’t okay. They don’t know how to process their emotions. Namely, their jealousy and desire to have this as well. What do you need to speak about, Kyzen? We’re going to fall behind schedule, and it’d seem breakfast isn’t even ready yet.”
I observe the shock dancing across Thayla’s face and the seriousness in his. It’s never easy knowing what he’s thinking or feeling. Usually, it takes me a little while watching what he does to get a better read on what’s running through his mind.
Right now, I don’t have the time or an inkling.
I take a seat on her other side and settle on being straightforward and simple. “Are we okay?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
I cut my eyes over at Thayla. She flexes her fingers against his and gives me an unconvincing nod.
Never thought I’d be considering another man’s feelings about my relationship. Especially not one of my brothers’.
“Thayla and I had sex, as you’ve already figured out. This subject may have been alluded to, but it wasn’t really defined or a part of your ‘this arrangement is simple’ conversation. I want to make sure we didn’t upset you and you’re okay with it.”
He tilts his head to the side as he studies us.
“I suppose we didn’t go in depth on the mechanics. It’s a natural evolution in any relationship. I assumed it would happen eventually in its own way and time, and we’d be accepting of it. I’ll admit I’m experiencing some envy, especially considering Thayla’s energy this morning. I do wish it had been me to make her feel that, but our time will come. I’m fine and hold no ill will that you two had sex.”
The weight that’d been growing in my chest immediately evaporates. I’m not sure what I would’ve said or done if he’d been mad, but his easy acceptance settles some of the conflicting feelings I’ve got going on.
I’m honestly in this weird place where I’m completely comfortable talking about this with him, but at the same time absolutely dumbfounded that we’re dating the same woman…and discussing having sex with the same woman.
This is going to take some time to get used to.
I nod and he glances down at Thayla as she attempts to hide her face by turning into his arm.
“Thank you both for considering how this would make me feel. I appreciate that you thought this was important enough to include me in a discussion.”
My heart nearly falls out of my chest at his words. I hold my breath as he bends down toward her, and her body falls completely still as he lays his lips to her forehead.
The whole interaction and embrace soothe something else inside of me. He hasn’t shown affection like that to anyone since we were kids. Even then, it was a random, small hug that no one talked about or usually even reciprocated. I cancount on my hand the number of times I’ve heard the words thank you come out of his mouth.
Not because he’s rude. It’s simply the fact that people don’t do things for him that would warrant his appreciation. I’m as guilty of that as anyone else. He’s the type of person who doesn’t ask for anything or expect anyone to be there for him.
I don’t think deep inside of him he wants things to be that way, though.
“Huh.” His murmured noise has her poking her head up at him.
“What?”
“I wondered why Kyzen does that to you. I see now. It creates a very tender and intimate sensation. What does it feel like for you?”
Her mouth parts, then she clears her throat. “It’s comforting.”
I chuckle at his astonishment and her bashfulness. It’s hard to explain, but I’m addicted to how she can be so sassy and fierce, hell, throw a punch at the drop of an insult, but she softens up so sweetly at such a small gesture.
I believe our Binder would love to be softer all around, but life hasn’t providedher the opportunity.
“While we’re on the subject of honesty, can I bring something up that may or may not upset both of you?”
Oh fuck…
“You can always say whatever is on your mind.” I nod in agreement with Amick, although my heart just fell through my stomach.
“I…have feelings for Creed and Riven. I don’t exactly know what kind of feelings because they piss me off more than anything, but I wanted to be honest with the two of you. Especially after you just made that comment, Amick.”
I blow out a harsh breath.
