I can’t help but stare over at her as she lowers herself to the ground with a huge smile on her face. Kyzen tucks himself close behind her, just as content as he can be. He seems to have let go of the obvious concerns I saw written all over his face yesterday.
It appears they’ve escaped her as well as she leans into him.
I won’t lie to myself and say I wasn’t crushed for a split moment when I watched the true fear well in her eyes. Her soul went ballistic for a moment, but it never tried to get away from myself or my brothers at any point.
She nor it attempted to truly flee us.
I can take a few guesses what ran through her mind, but by now, she’s thought through it all and has let it go.
My assumption is basically confirmed when she laughs once again and tilts her head back onto Kyzen’s shoulder. She doesn’t flinch, tense, or anything as he drapes his arms around her waist.
I’ve never had a desire to be near anyone longer than necessary. Plus, most don’t want to come too close to me.
It’s both a mind and soul fuck that I crave and despise being close to her.
The truth coming out brought about the exact situations I predicted. My brothers are pissed with me, but it pushed Kyzen and Amick closer to her, and while it may have confused the fuck out of Riven—who still hasn’t spoken directly to me—he now looks at her as someone that’s permanently his.
For me…it just made my dilemma even more difficult. Now I don’t think I can separate her. Not because I’m unable to, but because of them. I just have to fight this internal battle alone.
For the rest of my fucking life.
I’ve yet to figure out, and I don’t think I ever will at this point, why my soul wants to consume hers rather than hold on to it.
There’s a clear divide in my powers when it comes to how I handle a soul. I do one of two things.
Hold it until I can release it into Hellveilious or into the essence of the realm and allow the Valories to decide their afterlife.
Or…I devour it. Consume it completely until there’s not a piece of it left. It destroys the being entirely and gives them no possibility of an afterlife.
The literal black hole that lives inside of me has devoured countless souls and it can’t be given the ability to do that to hers.
It’s nothing but purity and light.
That fact shocked me to my core when her soul first attached to me, but as I’ve gotten to know her, it isn’t that surprising.
Despite her sass and readiness to lay a grown god out with nothing but her fist, her being is still as pure as the day she was born.
It doesn’t take much to taint your soul.
It may sound like a hard task, but it really isn’t with the never-ending lifespans we have. We’re given ample opportunity and time to fuck up.
Many of us do one way or another.
You harm an innocent,tainted.
You make selfish decisions that have a negative impact on those around you,tainted.
You don’t have to be the one to physically do something to someone, but if you’re the master manipulator behind the scheme,tainted.
My father is a prime example of that.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s gotten his own hands dirty enough to ruin his very being, but daily, constantly, he orders unforgivable acts. They leave a stain on him just as much as the ones obeying his order.
My brothers and I were spared a stain for the countless things we did that we had no choice in.
The day we rebelled changed that, though.
We left a mark on us that may never be healed.
