It becomes clear to me now why my brothers respond the way they do when they catch her looking at them like this. I’ve noticed the glances she gives me plenty of times, but they’ve never been in a setting so personal.
So opportunistic.
What I experienced the other day, watching her fall apart for Kyzen was intense, much like this, but he was there.
Having her alone, looking at me like she wants nothing more than to run her hands all over me, is even more powerful.
I climb into bed before she realizes the effect she’s having on my body. It feels wrong to lie in my normal spot, though.
The space between her and me is too much.
My back presses against my headboard as I scoot to the middle of my bed and I open my arm for her. “Come here.”
She bites her bottom lip as she moves the comforter out of her way and eases her body against mine. The second her ear presses into my chest, right against my heart, I exhale deeply.
The blissful embrace is all-consuming. It’s so right, so perfect, I nearly forget that the whole reason she came to me was because she needs to talk.
“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”
She sighs. “I’d like to ignore that now.”
My lip twitches. “That isn’t going to do you any good.”
Her fingers draw a pattern on the other side of my chest, and I breathe through the intoxicating sensation.
“I never wanted to leave Oddian, yet thinking about returning there tomorrow makes me feel sick to my stomach and I don’t know why.”
I frown over her head. The last thing I want to do is tell her why that is. I’ve already figured it out. I thought maybe she had too and was just shoving the emotions down like she’s notorious for doing.
It’d seem not.
I fear there are some traumas waiting in the back of her mind for her and I do not want to be the person who brings them to the surface.
I may be the only one of my brothers who can bring it up delicately, though.
“Unlike my brothers, my abuse from my father started younger. It started the moment I could talk and that was because of my ability to touch and see the truth. I learned right from wrong by four because I’d been shown a realm of truth by that point. All by accident. All because I couldn’t keep my hands to myself.”
“Amick, you don’t have to—”
I tilt her chin up to face me, look me in the eyes. “Let me, so when I explain what’s going on with you, you don’t feel alone.”
She blinks countlessly. “Okay.”
I don’t let her gaze move from mine.
“There is a piece of stone in my father’s throne room. He displays it with great pride and always told the story of how beings were kept prisoner in a temple by one of the other Beginning Gods. He painted himself as heroic, a valiant god who swooped in, freed the beings from their chains, destroyed the corrupt temple, and cast out his counterpart. That was anything but the truth, but I was fascinated with the story, with the single piece of rubble he kept as a souvenir.
“One day, my curiosity got the best of me, and I placed my hand on that stone. The truth of that day played across my mind. That temple was the largest temple built in the Valorian Veil, and it was dedicated to the God of Boundaries.
“As you know, the Beginning Gods were created with equal power and the only way for them to quote, become more powerful than each other, is by the prayers from the beings below them. The God of Boundaries was powerful. The people gave him credit for things he didn’t even do. The portals, the ability for us to travel and pass through other realms. They believed it was him and because of him, no one ever tried to harm the realm.
“At this point in time, there was a division already in place among the Beginning Gods, but there wasn’t a true Abandon, or a barrier that showed the region the divide. My father tried tirelessly to convince the God of Boundaries to side with him. Together, they’d rule it all.
“The God of Boundaries refused to side with anyone. He’d keep his position in the middle and only step in when he absolutely needed to as he’d been doing since their existence. My father went irate. He obliterated that entire temple, except for that one piece. Including all the beings that were inside.
“He then traveled the realm, putting on a showmanship for the beings. He’d obliterate invasive plants that were ravaging crops. He’d clear out land so they could grow and prosper. As he moved through the realm, he’d recruit more and more followers, while simultaneously destroying the God of Boundaries’ temples.
“He eventually returned to what we now know is the Abandon, and the barrier slammed in place. Shook the very foundation of Godsden. That was the very first lie I called him out on. It’s a truth I’ve kept to myself all these years, even from my brothers, because of our father’s reaction to me knowing.
