It’s my turn to hesitate. I don’t want to tell her the truth. I couldn’t trust my own voice if I had to say those words out loud.
I always figured we’d be each other’s firsts.
But that sounds so sad, so stupid. And it’s in the past, anyway. It’s too late now.
“I’m not angry about that,” I lie to her. “It is what it is. The ship has sailed.”
For once, the sight of the tear rolling down her cheek doesn’t make me hard.
“But hedidn’trape me, Logan,” she insists. “I’m still… I’m still whole. The ship doesn’t need to have sailed.”
“You’re married to another man, Lia.”
She bites down on her lower lip, at last bringing down her hands to wipe her cheeks.
Okay, I lied. I realize, just as she’s wiped it away, that the teardidmake me hard. Very fucking hard.
It’s a delayed hard-on, caused not just by the tear, but by her words, sinking into me at last.
He didn’t rape me.
Fuck, that feels good to hear.
Of course, not because of the bullshit reasons she gave me. I didn’t look at her as though she was tainted or defiled. But believing she’d been raped had thrown me off completely.
As much as I tried to tell myself it didn’t absolve her of her sins… how the hell can you be cruel to a girl who’s survived something like that?
And I do so love being cruel to her.
“Did I tell you to put your hands down?” I growl, and she startles.
“Uhm… you want me to… to…”
“Hands up,” I rasp.
She quickly laces her fingers back over her head, squeezing her legs together and looking up at me, her lips parted, her face flushed pink.
Goddammit, she’s beautiful. Now that the anger and confusion in me has eased, I allow my eyes to take her in. Her red curly hair tumbles around her face, and in her eyes as they look up at me, flecks of yellow and blue sparkle in the fluorescent light. Her breasts are still puffy and red from the way I slapped and pinched them before. I can’t see the bruise and the redness on her ass from this position, but I can imagine it.
In this moment, I don’t care how fucked I am. I need this girl so much.
Standing up, I unzip my fly and pull down my briefs and pants. Then I wrap my hand around the base of my cock, pumping it and directing it to her lips.
Grabbing her by the neck, I shove her back against the wall, and push into her roughly, shoving my cock into her mouth.
She gasps and starts gagging, but I don’t let her get used to it before I’m pounding into her, each of my thrusts hitting the back of her throat.
She looks so goddamn sexy as she chokes around my girth,tears winding down her splotchy-red face.
Right now Iwantto make her cry, so I wrap my hand around her throat again. Her gagging gets more intense, before all noise is cut off, and her red splotches smooth out into a uniform dark color. There’s something addictive about feeling her life force beat under my hand, knowing I control it. Knowing it’s mine.She’smine.
Her hands reaching up to bat against my thighs tell me I’m squeezing her too hard. I loosen my hold around her neck slightly, but I don’t want her thinking she had any role in making that happen. I grab her wrists with my other hand, steadying them, before I drive into her so hard her head slams against the wall behind her. More tears spring up to her eyes, but these aren’t the right kind. I release her neck entirely and bring my hand to her head, shielding it from the wall behind her as I feel my balls tighten, and soon, I’m releasing strings of seed into her mouth, and watching her swallow it all.
Fuck, it’s so good. I take a few steps back, panting hard. Her big green eyes, glittering with unshed tears, and her ass, squirming as she sits it on her legs, tell me she’s just as turned on as I am, and it does something to me.
Something that is not good at all.
I feel myself inching back toward that old precipice, and I donotwant to fall.
