Instead, I just ignored her.
And I got the feeling, as I watched her out of the corner of my eye, that I couldn’t have devised a worse punishment.
Well, good.
She’s been through shit, I guess, but I have too. I’ve suffered so goddamn much, and it was all because of her. Am I supposed to just forgive and forget twenty-seven broken bones and a shattered heart because she went through a tough time after?
Bullshit. That doesn’t earn her a get-out-of-jail-free card.Nothingearns her that.
_
The only way I survived these past two years was by adhering to one strict rule.
Don’t see her.
Damien was wrong. I didn’t stalkher. I stalked her house. I bought an apartment on the other side of the street, and any minute I wasn’t on family business, I was watching the ugly brick cube with its long, narrow windows that Carmelo calls home.
She spent a whole lot of time in that house, and I spent a whole lot of time watching it and imagining what she was doing inside.
Whatdoesa snake do when she’s gone domestic? I have no fucking idea. I imagined her cooking terrible food, or leaving burn marks when she ironed, or maybe, spending all her time glued to the TV. But none of those theories felt right. None of them felt like Lia.
It was so fucking hard not to see her. Not toknowwhat she was doing. But I realized that if I ever laid eyes on her, it would destroy me.
She left her house very infrequently, and the curtains were always closed, so even if Ihadwanted to catch a glimpse of her, it would have been nearly impossible.
I knew the one time every week she left her house. She went to the supermarket on Saturdays at ten a.m., and so, every Saturday, at 9:55, I’d avert my eyes while she walked out of her house with the kid. Then I’d listen for the sound of the car as she drove it away. Ten minutes later, I’d follow, parking in front of the store, knowing she was inside.
What kind of groceries does a snake buy?
Apples, probably. I imagined my snake loading up a grocery cart with apples, all of them perfectly red and shiny on the outside but rotten to the core. I’d wait in that parking lot for twenty minutes before driving away, knowing she wouldn’t be long.
Then I’d time it so I was back in my apartment minutes before she entered her house, and I’d make sure to avert my eyes again during the short trip she took from her car to the front door.
It was a very strange day, the day she never left her house.
For all my stalking, I’d somehow missed her escape.
It was torture, trying not to dwell onwhyshe had left. I forced myself to accept that she’d decided being stuck in a house with only a weekly supermarket excursion to break the monotony wasn’t her idea of happily married life. Well,good. She should have thought of that before she fucked and married the first guy who wasn’t me.
Only she didn’t.
She was raped.
Now we’re stopping for the night, and that means I’m going to have to deal with her, and I have no fucking idea how to even begin to do that.
I park the car in front of the motel I’ve chosen, stalk around to the passenger door, whip it open, and grab her upper arm.
She’s half-asleep when I yank her out. I crush her to me before knocking on the back window.
“Get the kid out of the car,” I growl to Everest as he rubs his eyes.
Then I lead Lia to a small office which a flicker of light tells me is occupied.
I pay for two rooms, one of them with a crib.
“Stay right here,” I mutter, going back to the car for the suitcases.
“Okay.” She licks her lips, now fully awake, watching me return with the suitcases. “Can I sleep with Aurora tonight?”
