No, not good news: nothing could be good news. But is it bad, or is it worse?
“You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important,” says Carmelo. “I don’t have time to deal with that shit right now. Just a few days, okay? I’ll have someone fetch her. Or maybe get a plane. Or just do it right there. But I want to see it. No one fucks me over. I need to figure out the Tito and Stefano shit first, though, or I’ll never hear the end of it from Papa.”
In his every word, I read a threat, and I glance over at Logan, hoping he’ll react. Didn’t he tell me I was a drama queen for thinking I was going to die? Is he really bringing me back to Carmelo knowing what fate awaits me? Or does he think Carmelo just plans to beat me up?
But Logan’s face is a mask. I can’t understand what’s going on in his mind. His knuckles are white from the way he’s clenching them around the steering wheel, but all that tells me is that he’s nervous about the Tito and Stefano situation. It doesn’t tell me a thing about my own fate.
“Where do I bring her, then?” he asks tersely.
“Anywhere. You’re already on your way to the warehouse? Just leave her there. There’s some metal hooks in the ceiling, I think, so you could even just chain her there and call it a day. Leave a fucking bowl of dog food or something. I don’t care. The only thing I ask is to make sure she’s still breathing when I get to her. You can’t make a dead girl pay.”
He chuckles at his own joke, but Logan doesn’t react.
“Give her a good walloping if she’s being mouthy,” adds Carmelo. “She’s a realputtanasometimes. Honestly, do what you want with her. I don’t give a fuck. Just don’t kill her. Keep reminding yourself of that, by the way.” He laughs again. “No killing her yet. You’re a little too trigger-happy, Logan, you know?Cazzo! But I guess that’s what makes you good.”
By now, I’m sagging against the back of the seat, feeling more dead than alive. Especially when I see Logan listening passively.
Isn’t there some part of him that still cares? Any part of him?
I guess I only have myself to blame. But that doesn’t make it any easier to bear.
“What about the kid?” is all Logan says.
My eyes go to the rearview mirror, and I drink in the sight of my beautiful little girl, who’s fallen asleep like she always does when she’s in the car. Meanwhile Everest is listening quietly to the phone call. He doesn’t look particularly happy, but he does look like he’s used to this kind of shit.
I guess he doesn’t care, either.
I know no one cares about me anymore, but every so often, I take a step back from my life, and realize just how much it’s true. And then, it’s like a punch to the gut.
I guess Iwasa bitch. I guess Idodeserve it. But do I really deserve somuchof it?
“Don’t kill it either,” says Carmelo after a pause, bringing me back to the conversation.
“It?” echoes Logan.
“The kid. Don’t kill the kid. That’s the only good thing that’s come out of my wife, and it isn’t even a boy.” He sighs. “But I guess it’s better than nothing. Don’t kill it, I’ll figure it out when I get there. Hand it off to Everest.Minchia, but I bet his tits are just aching to get milked.”
Another loud chuckle, and this time, Logan slams his hand against the steering wheel.
“Fuck, man! I don’t ever want to hear—another—the—fuck—”
I’ve never seen him like this. It’s like he can’t get his thoughts together. He’s so furious that what words he does manage to speak are completely choked.
Even though this time his anger isn’t directed at me, I still inch back to the side, quaking.
“It’s okay, man,” says Everest quickly. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Scusa,fratello,” apologizes Carmelo, and I blink my eyes in surprise once again. I have never heard him apologize to anyone, and yet he’s done so twice in this conversation. How the hell does Logan have so much power over the don’s son? He’s not even a made man! He’s not even Italian!
“Okay,” grunts Logan.
“Just a bad joke,” insists Carmelo. “Everest knows.Si, Everest? Listen, man, I won’t make you stay too long with the bitch. As soon as I can, I’m taking her off your hands.Va bene?”
“Okay,” says Logan again, and then hangs up.
It’s only then that I fully process the conversation. And not just the part about the chains and the warehouse and the dog food.
It doesn’t make sense that I would feel any surprise over Logan’s lack of reaction when Carmelo insulted me. Nor that it would bother me to compare it to the way he absolutely lost it when Carmelo made that joke about Everest. Everest is his friend. I’m the person he despises. It all makes sense. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
