Page 30 of Never Kiss a Highlander

“That was when ye decided ye could take care of yerself?”

She sniffed. “I have learned the hard way no’ to trust anyone. Especially men.”

“I have a feeling there is a story behind that.”

Alison shrugged. ‘Twas no reason to keep it secret. What had happened to her was not an unusual story.

“Blair Mackay, one of our warriors, and I developed a love for each other.” She smiled softly. “Or so I thought. We had promised each other to marry as soon as he gained permission from my da.”

She flushed slightly. “We had been intimate, but always stopped before it was too late. Both of us had grown frustrated but held onto our promise to each other. Then, before Blair hadworked up enough nerve to speak with my da, he was shipped off to one of the Mackay borders.”

She smiled again. “He met another woman, married her and had a bairn before he returned with his family in tow.”

“I would say I’m sorry, lass, but then ye would no’ be married to me.”

That statement gave her pause. She studied him for a moment. Did he really mean that? Was he truly happy with their marriage?

From that day forward, she had trusted no one, especially a man. She held her heart close, and she’d found the best way to do that was to be independent, trusting only herself.

Despite the feelings she was beginning to develop for Finn, she would never trust him enough to hand her heart to him to stomp on.

Finn took her hand in his. “I would ne’er hurt ye, lass.”

She huffed. “Ye might no’ intend to, but ‘tis no’ a promise ye can keep.”

“I hope one day ye might feel as though ye can trust me.”

She couldn’t help the tears that flooded her eyes. Even though she’d stopped caring for Blair Mackay a long time ago, some days she still felt the pain of that betrayal.

Finn waved the server over to refill their mugs.

“Ye might no’ have noticed, husband, but ye ne’er answered my question. Why do ye always feel as if ye must control everything? Ye ken that’s no’ possible.”

He shook his head. “Nay. I don’t wish to control everything; I just have the need to control myself.”

She smiled at the server as she refilled their mugs. “I feel as if there is a story behind that, also.”

Finn hesitated and then shook his head. “Nay. I was just born that way.”

The pain was still too raw even after ten years to be able to share the story of when he’d lost control, and how it ended in tragedy.

Since he was not prepared to share the stories of his weakness, after Alison had spoken of hers, the rest of their time at the alehouse was strained silence.

“‘Tis close to the evening meal; we should probably head back,” Finn said, downing the rest of his ale.

Alison nodded and stood. With his hand once more on her lower back they walked quietly to the stable. He again helped his wife onto her horse and they rode back to the castle.

“My lady, where have ye been?” One of the kitchen maids greeted them when they stepped into the great hall.

“My wife and I were at the village. What seems to be the problem?” Finn asked.

He could tell by the stiffening of Alison’s shoulders that she resented him answering the maid for her.

“Maude is now sick as well as the other two kitchen lasses. We need someone to cook.”

“Do ye mean to tell me that no one has started the evening meal?” Finn asked.

The lass shook her head. “Nay. We were looking for Lady Alison for the past hour.”