“I have to ask,” Ryker starts, and I turn to face him even though I’m terrified to see his expression. I don’t move to wipe my tears as they fall, glancing up to take in Ryker finally. There’s no hatred like I feared but confusion and hurt.
Fuck.It’s worse than I feared…he doesn’t trust me.
“Did you go through with it, and did you have feelings for Zeke before this night?”
I open my mouth to answer the first question but gag as something stops me from answering. I grab my throat and cough before wildly patting at my neck.
“He’s been spelled so that he can’t answer that question,” Knots provides, and Ryker frowns but nods in understanding.
“Can you answer if you had feelings for him before tonight?” A small smile appears out of relief that I’m no longer gagged, and I nod.
“Of course I didn’t, Ry. Zeke and I had a few classes together, but he never gave me any indication that he was attracted to me or any guys for that matter. There was interest on my end, but not feelings”
“Oh. Well then. No harm done,” he says, gripping my shoulder. “It seems like they did you a favor then. So where are we off to?” he asks, looking around the hallways at the multiple doors.
My jaw drops as I glance back at him, and he shrugs at my astonished look. I was afraid he was going to yell, scream, knock me down, and take it out on my face. Ryker is the most unpredictable out of the group since he’s a lover and a fighter. Plus, I have problems reading him at times.
“What? You’re talking to a man that fucks to live, but you think I’m going to judge you on how you hooked up with my brother?” He rolls his eyes. “Please, this might have been your past, but I already know your future. You and Zeke are meant to be, so nothing here will change that in my mind.”
I understand everything he’s saying, but it still doesn’t stop the churning sickness rolling in my gut as I walk to the room where Zeke awaits me. They have no idea what happened in this room and if I betrayed Zeke without him knowing.
“I never admitted to Zeke that he was a bet. That I lost a fucking bet, and he was my punishment.” I groan and clutch my stomach. “So unless you want to watch me and Zeke fuck, you might as well stay out of here,” I spit out between heaving breaths.
God, I feel sick and lean against the door frame, trying to catch my breath.Why am I having such a visceral reaction to this when I haven’t even moved?
“Guilt,” Knots utters, and I try to look up at him from my stance.
“What?” I groan through gritted teeth.
Ryker steps forward to look at Knots and then me, taking over the questioning. “What happened here that makes you feel guilty? From what I can remember, haven’t you and Zeke been an item ever since this night?”
“Yes.” My words are barely a whisper as tears gather in my eyes. “But our beginning wasn’t as pure as he thinks,” I admit, dropping to my knees to cover my face. A hand squeezes myshoulder, and I gently shake my head as I try to suck up my feelings to face my family.
“This night was someone’s payback,” The words barely make it past my lips as the weight of humiliation crashes into me. I don’t even think I can move from this position and face what I have to do. I don’t want to relive this moment. Yes, it turns out great in the end, but knowing how we started and the guilt I’ve been holding…I just can’t.
Knots kneels next to me and runs a hand down my back soothingly before helping me stand up.
“There are a lot of things that we must face in life: mistakes, fear, anger, jealousy, and even death. But the best part is, you don’t have to do it alone, JP. Ryker and I are here to help you. Yes, this might be your trial, but we are doing this together, and we won’t let you fail.” His brown eyes bore into mine with determination, and all I can do is nod while still feeling completely miserable and sick to my stomach. Words are easy to say, but will they change their mind once they see how I act?
“Of course, if you need some pointers, I’ll have no problem calling them out to ya. We have less than three hours to get out of here, and I’m not about to get stuck in despair. So this is really all about me,” Ryker jokes, and I throw a stream of water at him that he easily dodges.
Ryker’s laughter follows me into the office, where I find Zeke sprawled out along the sofa facing away from me, absently channel-surfing. The small office is set up so that immediately inside the door, there are two lounge chairs to the sides, and the old desk and chair are pushed into a corner. I freeze as I look at Zeke lying there, clicking from channel to channel. I know what I did before. The cocky and flirtatious me had just strolled up and teased him. But now, I’m somehow filled with apprehension.
“Need my help?” Ryker purrs, and a bolt of heat hits my core that instantly relaxes me.
“Just remember, JP, this is what started your epic love. It’s not what’s going to end it,” Knots encourages.
Ryker plops himself into one of the chairs and raises his hands like he’s directing an orchestra. “Don’t worry,” he winks, “You’re in good hands.” He chuckles, and another bolt of lust hits, causing chills to run down my spine, and I suppress a groan. I glare at him, but he just blows me a kiss as he continues to move his hands to a tune that only he can hear.
I swear payback is going to be a bitch.
Turning, I focus on Zeke’s lean body and notice how his shirt has come up slightly, showing off his porcelain skin. His shorts are riding dangerously low on his hips, and I can spot the beginning of his V dipping below the waistband. Gathering my nerves, I take a step closer and run my finger along the fine hairs at the back of his head and down his neck.
“Find anything interesting?” I ask, indicating the TV. My fingers continue their light caress as I walk the length of the sofa and make my way around. I know they burn a path through his clothes and onto his skin by his thoughts and the way his breathing hitches. Zeke’s excited to see me.
“Well, now I have,” he states, sitting up and addressing me. “This party has been a crap shoot, and TV seems to be a bust. I was thinking about going back home,” he admits. His green eyes take in my form as I stand before him.
“Oh really? Do you think I might be able to tempt you to stay a little longer?” I ask, my voice cracking on the last word. My original past thoughts seep back in, causing more doubt. I quickly look up at Ryker in a panic, but he just winks before I feel my body react to another hit of lust.
