“They’re red.” She moves closer, not further away as one would expect when seeing a hungry vampire, but I was her first…and…no. No.I can’t do this!
“It’s because I’m starting to get hungry,” I admit shamefully. “It’s time for me to get back home.” I give her a small smile and begin to get up, but before I get completely up, she grabs my wrist.
“Don’t you drink blood?” Seeing the grimace on my face, she quickly continues. “Well, I have blood. You can have some of mine,” she offers.
“I-I’ve never drank from anyone before,” I say nervously.
Dad told me drinking from the source was a privilege that I would learn how to do later in life. He never said I couldn’t butleft it unsaid that I’m not old enough to do it yet. But the thought of trying does appeal to me; I’ve always wondered what it tastes like. It has to be better than the blood that comes in the bag and sits in our fridge until we need it.
Trin is one of my best friends, and she’s the first to offer to feed me. Would it hurt her feelings if I declined?
Not wanting to hurt her feelings and knowing I can mimic my dad when I’ve seen him feed a few times, I decide it’s not a horrible idea.
“Daddy always says we have to learn to become better. Besides, you’re my friend, and I trust you.” She looks down at herself before back at me with her long eyelashes. “Where’s the best place?”
“My dad has gone for the throat.” My younger self shrugs as my experienced stomach churns, thinking of my mistake.
“Okay.”
My fangs descend on their own as I lean in, and she tilts her head. Her flowery-scented shampoo reaches my nose as I push her pigtail back over her shoulder. Her heartbeat is a roaring river to my ears as I lean in and place my lips over the raging pulse in her neck.
Okay, Zeke, this can’t be too bad. You’ve seen your dad do this before. And you’re a vampire. Follow your instincts.
My fangs sink into her skin, and she muffles her cry. I pull back sharply. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, but she encourages me anyway.
“It’s okay. I’m strong. Go again. You have to learn.”
When I bite down this time, I hit her artery, and the sweetest taste hits my tongue. I’ve had blood before, but nothing like this. I can easily taste the copper in the blood bags that Father keeps in the fridge for me. I have to trick myself into thinking it’s medicine to get them down, but this…it’s as if I’m drinking the best-tasting fruit smoothie or my favorite candy. The sharp,sweet taste of life flows over my taste buds, and I let myself go, drinking as fast and deep as possible, getting my fill.
Tears stream down my cheeks and drip off my chin as I feel Trin push against me, her strength slowly weakening as I continue to feed. But my younger self isn’t aware of her desperate pushing against us or the signs of the slowing pumping of her blood. No. Instead, we’re lost in the taste, the sweetness, the way it energizes us like nothing else we can compare it to. No bagged blood, smoothies, or any other nutrients that we take in its place will ever be enough again. Nothing compares to drinking straight from the heart of a living being.
It’s only when my past self takes another pull and nothing comes to my lips that I pull away from Trin’s rapidly cooling neck that I even know what I’ve done.
“Noo!” I scream and almost drop Trin to the ground. “No. I’m sorry. Please Trin. No!” I cry, trying to shake her awake. I push against her open wound and try to staunch the seeping blood that’s dripping down her porcelain skin when I hear a limb snap to my left. My body tenses and I look over, hoping to find someone to help me, but instead, I find my other monster, my own confidant, Lisa.
My Shadow Horse could have snuck up on me without making a noise, but she wants me to know she’s here. “Can you help? Lisa, I don’t know what to do,” I cry before turning back to Trin. “Wake up! I’m sorry, Trin. I’m so sorry.” I bury my head against her chest and rock as I cry.
I’m a monster. I’m the deadliest monster of them all. My friends—my family—will never accept me.
Lisa nuzzles against me, pushing my head away from Trin. I furrow my brows as she carefully pushes me away from her until her shadows envelope Trin’s body. She disappears with her into the forest, leaving me alone and cold on my knees.
“Zeke!” Rez yells and slams into my body, landing on top of me with an oomph.
She wipes at my face and kisses my cheeks, my eyes, and my lips before roughly pulling me to her chest. I manage to sit up as Rez wraps her body around me, and she squeezes me so hard I find it difficult to breathe.
“Give him a chance to breathe, Rez,” Chester chastises her. She pulls back reluctantly and peers into my eyes, holding my cheek.
“Are you okay?” she asks as I wrap an arm around her and stand. As I catch sight of Levi, anger and disgust with myself settles deep within me as I find myself wanting to escape. Hide away from what he’s just seen. My deepest secret has been revealed, and I can’t shove it back in the box.
“Zeke, look at me. Talk to me,” Rez says, pulling my attention back to her.
“There’s no reason to be ashamed, Zeke,” Levi speaks up as he approaches.
“Bullshit,” I spit out and push Rez off of me, but she quickly grabs my arm like a leech, stopping me from leaving.
“Zeke, wa?—”
“I killed her, Rez!” I cry, my voice cracking as I turn and face my friends. My eyes burn from the tears easily falling from them, and my throat is tight from clenching my jaw. “One of my closest friends growing up that trusted me with all of her heart, and I fucking killed her. I sucked her dry like a fucking smoothie, and the worst part was I enjoyed it. The entire time that I drank.” I swallow over the tight lump in my throat. “All I thought of was how amazing drinking from the source was,” I admit.
