Levi comes up next to me and grabs my hand, squeezing it. “What we’ve been doing is taking the emotion out of the choice. Just look at the facts and the small details, and choose from that. Study the pictures. Take the names away from the people, the emotions from yourself, and choose off of the facts that are left.” He kisses my cheek. “You can do it.” He squeezes my hand again before letting go and giving me space. I notice he doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes and looks more reserved than usual, and I makea mental note to ask why as I’m left staring at the two picture frames before me.
Easier said than done, but okay, I can do this. I have to do this.
Looking at the pictures before me, I try to wrap my head around what’s in front of me, but it’s as if there’s a block. I know what I want here. Focusing on my mom, Jillian, I want to pick her so much. She’s the mother I know, the one who taught me to ride a bike, pick herbs, and know the difference between Virginia Creeper and Poison Ivy. She taught me how to love and fight for what’s right. She put up with my attitude and spirit. She loved me with everything and tried to protect me from the uglier side of this world.
And Liliwen is a stranger to me. I have no memories of her, no feelings or personal knowledge of her.
Reluctantly, I look at both pictures and take in the slight differences and what’s the same. The blankets are the same, the dresses the women are wearing are the same, and their smiles and even how they are wearing their hair are the same. It’s as if they’ve been copied down to the slightest detail. Just as it was in Moni’s picture, except for the facial expressions. Levi suggested leaving my emotions out of this, but it’s so hard to block them instead of letting them lead me.
As the pictures replay, I look at myself as a baby and the way I coo up at the women holding me. Love and affection pour out of their eyes when they smile down at the child, but in Liliwen’s eyes, I see a fierceness of protection that doesn’t reflect in Jillian’s. A mother’s love would allow her to do anything, even kill, for her child's protection. I let out a shaky breath before focusing back on Jillian’s picture once more.
But is what’s in front of me the loyalty I feel towards Jillian, or is it the truth? It makes me almost physically sick thinkingthat Jillian isn’t my mother. It’s as if I’ll be betraying her memory if I choose Liliwen. Loyalty is a hard thing to overcome.
This is the level of Truths though, and that’s what I should focus on. Even if it’s true that my mother isn’t my birth mother, adopted mothersarereal mothers too. So yes, she’s my mother by all accounts that matter, and nothing will change that. She raised me and groomed me to tackle this world as it is. She will always be my mom in my heart, even though this trial isn’t looking for that type of answer.
Stepping up close, I reach out, almost touching Jillian’s picture as tears blur my vision. For some reason, it’s as if I’m closing the book on that part of my life, and I take a deep breath before touching the picture of Liliwen.
“This. This is my truth. My mother.” My voice cracks with emotion as I see Liliwen smile at me in the picture.
Boom! The wall shakes, and I jump back as the bricks collapse into a plume of rubble.
‘Congratulations, you have made it through the Road of Worth. May you claim what it is you’ve traveled for,’a voice calls out.
But it’s what I hear through the settling dust that sends chills down my spine.Fighting.I have no idea who’s fighting, but I’m sure I’m on one of their sides. I start to climb over the destroyed wall to get to the other side, but it’s slow as the dust chokes me and makes my eyes water. But as soon as I make it to the other side, I pull my glaives, look at the action, and pause as I can’t believe my eyes.
Before me is my mother, Jillian, and Ms. Teal in a vigorous battle of spells, blades, and large insect limbs flailing about. There’s no portal in this cavern, but there are steps leading up to another damn wall. Although the area is bare, you can tell that the women have been fighting for a while, as divots in the rocksand small fires are littered on one side of the room, and the other looks untouched.
My jaw drops as I momentarily watch my mother. She’s a badass, and she’s fucking alive?! Where? When? How in the hell is this possible? An array of emotions bombard me as I find myself excited that she’s here, shocked she’s alive, and horrified that she’s fighting to the death with Moni’s mother. Either way, my mother is holding her own, even if she’s supposed to be dead. Or my pseudo-mother? I don’t know. I have so much emotional damage that I would send Dr. Phil to a psych ward.
Actually, seeing Ms. Teal without her glamor could send me there as well. She’s shorter than my mom but twice as wide with her hard-covered teal beetle shell and hairy pearlescent wings streaked with teal and burgundy. She’s a mixture of a stink bug and June Beetle. She’s definitely the ugliest bug I’ve ever seen.
Her unsheathed wings act as a shield and blades as she spins around and slashes at my mom.
I’ve seen enough action movies to know not to call out and distract my mom, so I start to take off, but Zeke grabs for my arm.
“Rez! No.” He yanks on my arm, making me stop.
“Let go, that’s my mother!” I scream at him, trying to yank my arm away.
“I know, but look. Something is off with this,” he pleads, pointing up. “Look, there are cameras embedded in the stone. Why? Who’s taping or watching?” he implores me to listen to reason.
‘He’s right, Rez. Something doesn’t smell right,’Lynx reports as he shifts into his Lynx form.‘She isn’t the only enemy around.’
‘I don’t care, that’s my mom.’I break free of Zeke only to turn around and freeze as a portal opens ten feet away from me, and I catch sight of what’s coming through.
“Someone must be using a portal stone to send something here,” Levi yells as he pulls out his boa staff.
Are you serious right now? We just completed this damn Trail of Worth, and we still have to fight? This is truly HELL!
A group of spiders scuttle out of the portal dragging something behind each of them. Oh, hell no, are those snake tails? What kind of hocus pocus is this shit that I have alien facehuggers the size of huskies? Along with the spiders is a Chimera and a demon the size of Bez. They turn their attention toward me, and I almost weep with frustration.
This is not my damn life right now.
“Get the girl,” the demon demands, and the spiders take off.
Get the girl? There are two of us, but I’m guessing they mean me.
“Nettlebugs! Their weakness is their bellies,” Knox shouts out before shifting into Slayer.
