We are nothing alike. I’m stronger than him. I’m not going to give up on Rez like he did on his love. I would never worry about what others think over my family. Plus, I’m not an ordinary vampire with the same limits as him.I’m unique in a lot of ways. A vampire being born was normal, but from what I’ve gathered, something was done to me. Something that altered me at the molecular level, changing me. I am something different. The black soul that should just be empty and craving blood, craves something far more sinister. ‘We are more. We are stronger and beyond normal confines.’
I know it’s against the rules to play around with the dark arts or magic, but sometimes it calls to me. Necromancers can cross the line of what’s considered impossible. Life after death. Some Necros—yes I’m not the only one—can bring back the dead for a short period of time to learn information, to find out facts about a murder, or rediscover long lost spells to add to the archives. Necros are rare and normally ‘employed’ by Nova’s Task Force. The Council has a few on their payroll, and there’s a rumor that the Fates have brought one into their midst. But let’s call them what they really are.Slaves.
They are closely monitored because a Necro can go crazy or feral at any point in their lives and might need to be ‘taken care of.’ We were taught in history that a Necro, named Inez, once went ‘feral’ and raised a whole battlefield cemetery and allowed the monsters to ravage a small town, wiping the people out within minutes. Inez was unable to share the reason behind her actions, so the Council had her put to death and cursed her spirit so she couldn’t be raised by another.
They are still trying to find out what causes Necros to lose their minds. Some say it’s their age while others think it’s from the number of dead they’ve reanimated. One group of mages believes it’s from the power they absorb over the years or lack thereof. Me, I think maybe it’s the power going to their heads and they find themselves craving more of it, to feel invincible.
Hell if I really know, but I refuse to be a puppet to someone just because of my powers. Knox and JP are the only ones that even know about it, but they swore an oath of secrecy. Neither one of them want to see me shackled to a life of slavery.
‘Embrace your power and nothing can touch us. No restraint will ever hold us.’I’m not sure how to respond to that so I ignore it for now. My footsteps finally find purchase on wood, the door to the lab should be right around the corner and I can let off some steam. Working out was a nice stress reliever, but this is what calls to me. I open the heavy lead-lined door that I replaced a year ago and walk into the lab.
I’ve done some updates to this place since the first time I found it. Adding in an electricity spell and installing hardwood was my first priority. After that, I’ve slowly added in other aspects, like a computer, chair, mini fridge, and a bed with a storage unit for a change of clothes. Sometimes working on a project wipes me out and I need to rest before heading out. More than once I’ve had to wake up and change clothes and barely make it to my next obligation. Thank you, advanced speed. I’m grateful that hasn’t been the case lately. The last time that happened was when I was completely drained of energy after raising afriendfor Lisa, my shadow horse. Unfortunately, her friend only lasted a few months over the summer.
Speaking of my pet, I look over to my bed and there she is, curled up on the comforter, sleeping. Her telltale joints click as her legs move, reminding me of a dog when they dream of chasing their favorite things. It brings a soft smile to my lips but I still feel an emptiness inside. Lisa is that monster under the bed that most people fear, but she is mine and I am hers; therefore, I love her unconditionally. I wasn’t allowed a pet growing up, but my father can’t say no to one that’s wild and just happens to live out in the woods. Especially if he doesn’t know about it. I don’t know how she does it but she often squeezes in through doors, cracks and just appears in places that I wouldn’t think are possible.
The first time around age five, I found her in my bedroom, I screamed bloody murder and my father came rushing in looking for an intruder. Lisa disappeared right before my eyes and I was told to stop scaring my father and go to bed. I had started having nightmares around that time about death and a dark cloaked figure slashing through bodies, so I was always having problems sleeping. As soon as he closed the door, I was frozen solid as Lisa reappeared and slowly crept up to my bed and laid down on the floor next to me. I became brave enough to peer over the edge and found her sleeping. I tried to stay awake for as long as I could since the monster was sleeping next to me, but eventually I fell asleep. I have to admit, that was the first time I slept soundly without nightmares.
Moving over to the altar made out of bones and some kind of dark substance I found on the far side of the room, I pull up a chair, grab the book off the mantle, and get comfortable to read some more. Whenever I can’t quiet my mind, I tend to read; it’s another way to escape the world I’m living in. And right now I didn’t want to be in a world where I can’t see Rez’s smile or smell her sweet peach smell. I’ve been trying, I really have been, but I’m not doing well. I know I should talk to someone or even the other guys, but I’m practically an adult and I should be able to handle this on my own. JP wants to help, but this isn’t something he would understand. I’ve been considering talking to Knox because I know how he struggles with his anger, but I’ve had to work myself up to being willing to listen to someone else. Thankfully, he will be off this evening so I might hit him up later, until then, reading will be my escape.
‘It’s not that simple though, now is it?’
I’m not sure if ‘book’ is the right term for this thing that’s sitting in my lap. It is a mixture of spells, journal entries, and drawings of past creatures that used to roam the lands. Letting some of my power flow out, I can sense the cover is cured skin, but what type? No clue, and I’m not willing to let those powers go further for fear of not being able to control them. I need to know more about my powers and what could be harmful before I’m willing to test any boundaries, which is why I’m reading. Flipping the cover over, I glance at the words in Latin to find where I left off.
Death is only the beginning.
The darkness is a constant presence. I cannot escape it. I feel as though there are two of me warring inside of this body. It’s a constant fear as to which one I will awake to when I close my eyes. The power grows within me daily and the cravings are forever there. Nothing quenches my thirst, the need to play with the dead. It’s as if my body needs more of the power to sustain itself. I know one day the darkness will take over, it’s only a matter of time.
Before turning to the next page I can’t help but wonder.Is this my future?I feel like whoever wrote this, is speaking about me. Continuing on, I find a very interesting entry.
Today I’ve come across a creature I’ve never heard of. The best way to describe it is a solid shadow. It moves like the river, black as my soul, sounds like the bones from my dreamcatcher rattling in the wind, and it has the head of a horse with the neck of a snake. It moves in the oddest fashion, but it seemed to be drawn to my darkness.
Update on this creature. I have been able to communicate with this living entity as my powers have grown. Her name is Annalisa and she’s the first of her kind. As the months have gone by, I’ve seen a few here and there, but ‘Lisa is the one that’s constant and has been by my side continuously. I will deem her a shadow horse.
Holy Shit! I glance at Lisa in awe before going back to the book. The next page is a rough drawing of Lisa but with longer and shaggier hair. She also looks to have patterns sketched into her skin. A pentagram is the only symbol I recognized.How old is this book? And how old is Lisa since she’s mentioned here?
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sigh, releasing the tension building in my body. I’ve been feeling off balance lately, as if one little thing will send me reeling off the deep end. I’m trying to keep the darkness and pain away, but I’m tired. I’m so tired of being the person that everyone relies on to make them laugh, and to always have the carefree smile they look forward to seeing. For some reason I don’t get that feeling with Rez. She just seems to like me for my flirty, awkward self. Or she did, when she was still talking to me. Before I broke her trust and now she doesn’t want to see me again. Before that she gave me the impression that she was with me because of me, not some silly title given to me and my brothers or for who my father is. If anything, she seemed shocked that we had those titles and slighty put off that my father was the Mayor. I can’t blame her there though, since he's made everyone feel that way.
My phone dings, and I jolt upright, frantically fishing it out as my heart races. It might be Rez, messaging me, saying she forgives me. Yes, I’m that fool who sits by his phone hoping she will call, but I fucked up and deserve her punishment.
I’ve wanted to reach out to see if she will at least read my messages, but I’ve been restraining myself. I’ve had to turn off my phone multiple times to keep from calling her. I even came close to deleting her number once, but I was terrified that I would miss her reaching out. Giving her time has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I just hope I didn’t fuck it up to the point that she will never forgive me.
If that should be anyone’s fate, I believe that will be Levi’s. At least I didn’t sleep with her and then turn around and betray her in the same week. Though we became close the first week of school, Levi had to ruin that.
‘Funny how that worked out in his favor, huh?’
It’s hard to hold back all the emotions and sort through them to see what I really should be feeling. I’ve been going insane to the point my nightmares have returned and the voice in my head has become more frequent and prominent. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I can’t tell if the feelings I’m having are truly mine or belong to the voice in my head. I know how crazy that sounds, but that’s what I’m going through. I do know that my feelings for Rez are real, and the fact that she slept with Levi is another real emotion I can’t hide from. I’m jealous and maybe a little pissed. How the fuck does he just cockblock me, sleep with the woman of my dreams, and then betray her? FUCK! I want to punch him again! It’s not even about him just sleeping with Rez.
Yes, our culture is all about open relationships or sharing, but I’ve never had to deal with my brother fucking upMYrelationship before. Hell, he fucked it up before it even started. Rez is the first girl that has calmed both sides of me and made me feel okay to just be me for once. JP has accepted me too, but he’s never calmed the darkness before. Looking at my phone, I almost dismiss the text seeing that it’s from Knox to the group until I see Rez’s name, gluing me in place.
Beast:Ran into Rez. Gonna b l8. Going 2 take her flying.
Robot:Is she alright?
Beast:Yep!
Fuckboy:Just bcuz u got to her 1st doesn’t mean u win.
Beast:Whateva helps u sleep.??
