“MOM!” I yelled running in. The door banged behind me, and I tripped over something. Standing up, I flipped on the electric lamp by the door and screamed. There, in the middle of the floor was my mother, covered in blood, her lifeless eyes staring up at me. Even though I could tell she was already gone, I ran over and dropped to my knees. I pressed my fingers to her carotid, but her skin was cold and stiff. Even though I knew there wouldn’t be a pulse, I just had to know for certain.
Lynx? Where’s Lynx?
Searching the space frantically, I saw Lynx lying on the ground by the door, and rushed over to check on him.
“Lynx?” I shook his warm body, and he moaned. Oh God! “Lynx, talk to me. What happened?”
I grabbed his face and shook him gently, trying to wake up the big cat.
‘Rez?’He opened his turquoise eyes and looked around.‘Omg. No. What happened?’He jumped to his feet and ran over to mom’s body looking for life before coming back.‘Rezzi? What happened?’
All I could do was shake my head. “I just got home. Was looking for you,” I whispered, shocked, and still looking at my mother’s prone body. Yeah, I had to be in shock because all I could think was, aren’t you supposed to cry when you come home and find your family destroyed?
‘We need to call the police, Rez. Here, hand me your phone, and I’ll call.’
Without a thought, I pulled out my phone and handed it to him, only looking up when he didn’t take it.
“Lynx?”
‘I can’t shift. At all!’
* * *
I don’t know how long I lay there crying, purging my body of the deceit and lies that my life was full of, but the sun has moved to the other side of the woods. The cooling ground is becoming too uncomfortable for me. Sitting up, I move over to the rocky edge of the little waterfall, where it’s not so wet, and lie back down.
Taking in a deep breath, I try to calm down my breathing and think this through. The trickling of the water along with the heated rocks seeping into my skin, helps. Rolling over onto my side, I absently run my fingers in the water, and think about all of the signs, but I somehow didn’t see them. I know I didn’t.
The herbs and flowers that we picked together, the songs and dancing we did in the kitchen. Hell, I even laughed and commented at how mom always danced with her hands. Making symbols in the air or flicking her wrist.She was casting.The revelation hits me like a freight train.
Not only was she doing symbols, picking herbs I’m sure were used in spells, but she knew about Lynx.
SHE FUCKING KNEW!
Livid, I jump up and start to pace, the need to move riding me hard. She knew his shifting wasn’t in my head, yet she made me go to counseling. All those years I wasted, thinking I was crazy? I feel like my life has been a fucking sham. My emotions keep warring between wanting to scream or cry. I can’t decide which one. Not knowing how to act around friends or trust them with what I was going through? Did she not know what I was dealing with? Or did she not care? I cycle through sadness, anger, and confusion. How does a mother treat her daughter like crap? Fury courses through my veins as I continue to pace. If my pain could manifest itself, I would be that red anger guy from ‘Inside Out’. I feel like exploding.
I feel the moisture building behind my eyes again, and this time it’s anger that’s pouring through me. How can a mother, someone who should protect you, set you on a path of mental anguish for YEARS? Not only mine, but Lynx’s. I felt everything. His yearning to just be with me, his frustration of not being able to tell me, and hopelessness in not knowing when it would end—all poured into me. His feelings for me were almost debilitating. Surrendering to the pain, I drop to the ground again and scream my release into the sky.
Emptiness is the only thing left, and I sit back on my heels, not seeing the world around me. A few minutes later, I hear leaves rustle in the distance, and I don’t even have the energy to move or care anymore. A twig snaps and I hear the rustling of leaves move closer, but that’s not enough to penetrate the walls around me, blocking out all emotion. I feel myself fall into a bottomless pit where it’s safe and dark. Hiding away from the world.
“That’s so unnecessary, child,” a soothing voice says. Turning my head, I look up and see a young woman standing next to me, wrapped in a thick blue cloak. Her long white-blonde hair has multi-colored feathers that catch the light from the sun and spill down in front of her. Her ebony skin has a slight glow from underneath her hood. It’s her eyes that are a shock to my system. One is entirely purple, with her pupil being a white pentagram. Her other one is black, but a yellow clock is moving where her pupil should be.
“Who are you?” I croak out, my voice raw from emotions. A part of me wants to be scared but the other half is just too numb to fucking care.
“Most people ask what I am, not who. You are indeed unique,” she answers and sits down in front of me on the ground. I mimic her stance and cross my legs in front of me to face her completely. “But to answer your question, I am Anwen. Like I said before, the self-pitying is uncalled for,” she smiles.
“How would you know?” I snap. Yes, she’s some type of supernatural ‘thing’ I haven’t met yet, but what right does she have to tell me what I should feel. They’re my fucking feelings. She came to my damn pity party, and it’s RSVP only, damnit.
“I know a lot of things, Nerezza.” She gives me a sly smile and my eyes go wide. “For instance, I know now is not the time to wallow in self-pity. You have work to do. That is why Diablo pulled you here after all.”
I don’t know how, but her words click. “You’re a Fate!” I exclaim, and she laughs, sounding like tiny bells ringing.
“Not too bright, are you?” She says and quickly continues when she sees my annoyed face. “I’m just playing with you. You’re so easy to rile up,” she giggles. “You remind me so much of her,” she whispers and sadness mirrors her eyes.
“Who?” I ask as I relax, feeling a kindred spirit with this woman somehow. Maybe because I’ve just had the most shocking revelation that caused this anguish. It seems pain senses pain, and it’s why I can relate to her. She shakes her head and gives me a small, sad smile.
Her eyes sparkle, and it hits me,if anyone has answers to my questions, it would be Fate, right?
“Do you know what happened to my dad? Do you know what I am? Why I got pulled here?” Each question I ask, I feel myself climbing out of the dark pit. Leaning towards her, I pepper her with more questions. “Who’s Diablo? Is he why I’m here? Do you—”
